PETA Protests Obama’s Cold-Blooded Fly Swat, Movie About Incident in the Works

As soon as President Obama smacked a fly dead and called it “sucker,” I knew he’d opened a can of PETA whoop-ass:

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

“We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals,” PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. “We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”

Take a look at the Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher. I prefer my method, known as the “Florsheim Bug Flattener.”

In the meantime, because Obama bravely and skillfully smacked that “sucker” dead and the media praise is being heaped on, a movie sequel of sorts is in the works to capitalize on the incident:

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Blame for Holocaust Museum Shooter Thrown in Wrong Direction

It’s an unfortunate and all-too-common practice to take a tragedy and twist it to fit your own political purpose, but the loon who killed a security guard at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC proves that this has become a political national pastime of sorts.

Lefties — in these two examples from the Daily Kos — have linked the murderer, James W. von Brunn, to Rush Limbaugh (for a pretty lame and weak reason — heck, I’ve made Obama birth certificate jokes as well, so obviously I’m also partly accountable for the museum murderer), and, of course, to the conservative “tea party” movement.

In actuality, as is reported in the Examiner, von Brunn left behind a vast trail of writings, making it clear that he hated neocons, Bush, McCain and other Republicans, and was also a 9/11 conspiracy kook.

Hmm, who else hates Bush? This means the gunman has more in common with the aforementioned Kos lefties than Rush Limbaugh or tea partiers — but I hesitate to mention that because, like I said earlier, it’s unfortunate when people do that — unless it’s for reasons of self-defense.

The fact is the guy was just plain nuts, and both the right and left need to admit that and move on — but what are the odds that will happen?

(h/t GatewayPundit)

HuffPo Tackles the Hard News: Sarah Palin’s Toenail Polish

The pro-feminist left just cannot handle a classy-but-down-home independently minded non-liberal woman without ironically trying to reduce the rhetoric to a level that is usually reserved for a stripper twirling around a pole: HuffPo poll: What’s on Sarah Palin’s Toenails?

Unlike a lot of liberal chicks you see at art fairs, all I know is that the answer to the above question is “not fungus.”

In fairness to the Huffington Post though, they’ve been fairly nonpartisan when it comes to this issue, because I think they asked the same question back when John Edwards was spotted in sandals leaving Pink Sapphire.

Update: The HuffPo can stop end their search, because I’ve managed to find out what brand of polish Sarah uses…

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Cindy Sheehan Still Trying to Get Bush to End Iraq War

Today’s “three dozen judge, jury and executioners say Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld should go to prison for murdering a million people” story comes to us from Dallas, Texas courtesty of Cindy Sheehan, who seems to be forgetting which president is still running active wars in Iraq and Afghanistan:

Around 40 people joined antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan as she planned to lead a protest near former President George W. Bush’s Dallas home.

The event Monday afternoon also brought out about a dozen people protesting the protest and about two dozen members of the media.

Cindy’s forgetting that last month was the deadliest month in Iraq since September of ’08, so, as far as ending the war goes, she’s protesting at the wrong house — she should be here.

Isn’t it grand how the same Sheehan bunch that is aching to close Gitmo for reasons of a lack of “due process” have already, in their public comments, convicted several people from the Bush administration and would gladly string them up without a trial?

(h/t GatewayPundit)

Send a Message to Your Favorite Guevara-Trumpeting Liberal

Most Americans you see spouting Che Guevara propaganda via their clothing and posters have no idea who Che Guevara is or what he did (with the exception of select Obama campaign workers). Most only know him as a fashion fad — so one company has come out with buttons you can wear to assist these blind liberals with a much needed history lesson:

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(h/t HotAir)

Peace, Love, Grope: Sexual Harassment Crisis at the U.N.

How does the United Nations expect to negotiate an end to violence in the Middle East if they can’t even get their own people to forgive and forget about a “nice tits” comment?

From the Wall Street Journal:

The United Nations, which aspires to protect human rights around the world, is struggling to deal with an embarrassing string of sexual-harassment complaints within its own ranks.

Many U.N. workers who have made or faced accusations of sexual harassment say the current system for handling complaints is arbitrary, unfair and mired in bureaucracy.

It’s nice to know that the United Nations’ methodology for handling sexual harassment complaints is no different than it is for anything else.

Of course, this is the U.N. we’re talking about, which means saying “this coffee is so hot” will get you slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit from your mug.

But because of this recent rash of complaints, U.N. employees are no longer allowed to say the following:

null“Help me out here, baby… my helmet’s not the only thing that’s turned blue.”

“I bet you’d provide a great habitat for my humanity.”

“You’d look great tied up in that red tape…”

“That blouse could make any U.N. committee appointed by a panel of roundtable experts from an as-yet-to-be-announced coalition in conjunction with a bureau of task forces need a cold shower.”

“You can yell ‘Boutros Boutros’ and I’ll still only come once, but I’ll whisper ‘Lisa’ and you’ll come twice… weird, eh?”

“Once you go pathetically assuaging paper-pusher you don’t go back baby.”

“Must be jelly ’cause jam don’t mediate like that.”

“Here, I photocopied my butt — you’ve been Ban Ki-mooned!”

“Let’s say you and I go negotiate a truce between Viagra and Astroglide after work.”

*****

Until this is all sorted out, the U.N. is operating under a new logo:

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The Dr. Emmett Brown Award for Giving Would-Be Terrorists a Shoddy Bomb Casing Filled With Used Pinball Machine Parts Goes To….

The FBI and the NYPD:

The FBI and NYPD busted a four-man homegrown terror cell Wednesday night that was plotting to blow up two Bronx synagogues while simultaneously shooting a plane out of the sky, sources told the Daily News.

The idea was to create a “fireball that would make the country gasp,” one law enforcement said.

Little did they know the plastic explosives packed into their car bombs and the plane-downing Stinger missile in their backseat were all phony – supplied by undercover agents posing as Pakistani militants linked to Al Qaeda.

Fortunately the would-be terrorists didn’t become suspicious of the “Acme” and “Ajax” labels on the boxes.

Way to go NYPD and FBI!

San Francisco Mayor Wants To Tax Your Butts Off

You might think that no butts are off-limits in San Francisco — the city with social policies so liberal that God must think he horribly over-reacted to the Sodom and Gomorrah thing — but some butts are not welcome.

From the New York Times:

In what he casts as an attack on litterbugs and nicotine addiction alike, Mayor Gavin Newsom wants to impose a fee on an age-old inhabitant of city streets: the cigarette butt.

The proposal, to be introduced next month to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, would add 33 cents to the cost of a pack of cigarettes, to offset the estimated $10.7 million the city spends annually removing discarded butts from gutters, drainpipes and sidewalks.

With that in mind, here’s an item from the San Francisco Examiner from May 7th:

Garbage is piling up on San Francisco streets.

Just four of 11 supervisorial districts met The City’s street-cleanliness standards in the 2007-08 fiscal year, according to a maintenance audit released Wednesday.

That’s down from 10 districts that met the standards in the previous fiscal year.

During the same one-year period, illegally dumped trash, needles, broken glass, feces and condoms also became more prevalent on city streets.

Clearly the first thing that needs to be addressed is discarded cigarette butts! Heaven forbid a heroin junkie enjoying an AIDS infected five-dollar hooker on a park bench while rolling in somebody else’s poop should come in contact with a half-smoked Marlboro.

San Francisco has a needle exchange program, which can cause you to, as we used to say, “step on Keith Richards’ dinner” while walking in a park. San Francisco hands out free condoms like amphetamines at a Harry Reid speech, which get discarded and invite kids who find them to create the world’s most disgusting balloon animals — but no, let’s tax cigarette butts.

How much longer will liberals be taken seriously? Don’t answer that and ruin my good mood.

A Title for Palin’s Book?

It would be hypocritical of me to complain about Democrats, liberals and the mainstream media (today’s redundancy is brought to you by Palmolive dish soap) inventing titles for Sarah Palin’s book that’s due out next year, because I do it all the time. Clintons, Kennedys — you name the book, and I’ve probably mocked it — so turnabout is fair play. But some of this Palin Derangement is hilariously bitter.

Liberals would be going at Palin’s book with both barrels blazing, but since their gun control beliefs even extend to idioms, they’re forced to resort to lame whining, as evidenced by Keith Olbermann and some alleged radio talk show host I’ve never heard of helping Sarah with titles.

Olbermann harps on Rupert Murdoch “financing” Palin’s book — as if nobody’s going to buy it and it’s just a roundabout campaign donation. Eh, I don’t think so — that’s Democrat shtick, Keith.

There’s also the “ghost writer” fixation, as if every other politician didn’t have one. That’s not true, of course. It’s comical watching people like Keith Olbermann, who is always grimacing as if somebody just tack-hammered a Tinkertoy up his butt, Mr. leg thrill Chris Matthews (his show got the name “Hardball” the day Chris met Barack), et al, performing diatribes against Palin for having a ghost-writer — rants that were often written by somebody else and appear on a teleprompter for them to read.

They sure are spending a lot of time worrying about someone they claim is an irrelevant, stupid hayseed with no chance to make it in national politics, which is interesting.

In any case, in the spirit of bipartisanship, I’ll help with titles for Sarah Palin’s upcoming book. Here are just a couple of suggestions:

–I can see sexists from my house!

–“Pull!”

–101 uses for a dead moose

–I crap bigger’n MSNBC

–The Thrilla in Wasilla

–The audacity of you-bet’cha

–Hack this!

Rumsfeld’s Code Pink Reception

This one slipped through the cracks in the past couple of days (because nobody in the media reported it), but here’s Don Rumsfeld and his wife arriving at the White House Correspondents Dinner Saturday night getting a pleasant and respectful reception from some classy members of Code Pink.

Just kidding about almost everything except the Rumsfeld and Code Pink parts:

Sheesh. If there was ever an example of what must have inspired the invention of the taser, earplugs and the double vodka martini, it’s the tinnitus warblers from Code Pink.

Michelle Malkin asks (rhetorically, of course) if President Obama will get a similar reception now that innocent civilians have been killed in a war The One is continuing, and that he’s opposing the release of alleged “abuse photos” of detainees.