'The View' From The Short Bus

Will somebody please unplug the microphones of these mentally challenged bobbleheads on The View? 

The latest person on the show dead-set to prove to the world that she’s legally retarded is Joy Behar, who said that Don Rumsfeld is “Hitler-like.”

Some of these dingbats are deserving of a history lesson, the hard way.

Enjoy and appreciate the video, because the camera hasn’t captured this much stupidity in one room **since the death of The Three Stooges (**excluding the previous day’s broadcast of The View):

‘The View’ From The Short Bus

Will somebody please unplug the microphones of these mentally challenged bobbleheads on The View? 

The latest person on the show dead-set to prove to the world that she’s legally retarded is Joy Behar, who said that Don Rumsfeld is “Hitler-like.”

Some of these dingbats are deserving of a history lesson, the hard way.

Enjoy and appreciate the video, because the camera hasn’t captured this much stupidity in one room **since the death of The Three Stooges (**excluding the previous day’s broadcast of The View):

Eurothenasia: Foreign Execution of the Death Penalty in the U.S.

Are we becoming Euro-assimilated? Here is a statement by the Secretary General of the Council of Europe (think “Hall of Justice” with bad teeth and breath that reeks of Chateau Mouton Rothschild):

Capital punishment in the United States of America is on its deathbed after the ruling by a court in California to the effect that a lethal injection is unconstitutional and the decision by the Governor of Florida to suspend all executions after the terrible experience of the last execution in this State.

Judge Fogel in California may still think that the death penalty can be fixed, but these decisions nevertheless mark the definitive beginning of the end. It may take another couple of years, but the United States of America is on its way to join the rest of the civilized world where this inhuman and barbaric punishment has already been rejected. I have no doubt that this trend is welcomed by a lot of Americans who, given a proper choice, prefer just security to cruel revenge.

Europe seems to be taking a huge interest in U.S. policy, and the U.S. seems to be listening. The next thing you know, we’ll be driving in the other lane (that Nicole Richie is quite the trendsetter), and the United States will be so pasteurized and passive that we’ll be unable to save Europe the next time the Germans have too much to drink. Oh well, so be it.

And why does Europe take such an interest? It’s not because they’re passive observers. Europe knows that many American judges actually look to Europe instead of the U.S. Constitution when pulling their decisions out of a hat.

Consider as a shining example Anthony Kennedy of the U.S. Supreme Court. While many issues decided by the Court can and should be debated, often it’s their reasoning, or lack thereof, that we should find most troubling. For example, when the Supreme Court decided that juveniles cannot be executed, Justice Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion in the case, and blurted out this gem:

The stark reality is that the United States is the only country in the world that continues to give official sanction to the juvenile death penalty. It is proper that we acknowledge the overwhelming weight of international opinion against the juvenile death penalty.

Who loosened the wheels on the intellectual Hoverounds of these coots?

“International opinion”?

“The United States is the only country in the world that gives sanction to …”?

What does the U.S. Constitution say? Who cares? As long as nobody in the world cries “sacre bleu,” all too many American judged think they’ve done their jobs.

Legal rulings in the U.S. that lend credence to European opinion most certainly do not go unnoticed in Europe. They have pull now in the U.S. courts, and they know it.

So, concerning the issue of the death penalty. It’s not that I’m for it as much as I hate Europe sticking a crumpet-covered nose in our business, which is due to continue as long as there are judges like Anthony Kennedy looking to the world and not to the U.S. Constitution. Ironically, in the “old school” United States, this was a crime that could have been punishable by hanging, so it’s no wonder so many globalist judges in the U.S. oppose the death penalty.

I used to be gung-ho about the death penalty, but given its current status in many of the 38 states where it’s still legal, I’d rather scrap it and just have the convicts keep on making license plates. Why? Two reasons. First, by the time the decades-long appeals process is exhausted, we’ve forgotten what it was the guy was on death-row for. Secondly, I’ve come to the realization that as long as there are prosecutors such as Mike Nifong running around, there’s always a chance that we could be putting innocent people to death.

All I ask is this: if we get rid of the death penalty across the board, don’t tell Europe. Let ’em sweat this one out. As a matter of fact, let’s use the opportunity to “clean house.” Tell the Council of Europe that we’ve decided to expand capital punishment laws to include more minor crimes – such as being a shoplifter or a foreign telemarketer – and our new method of execution is throwing a plugged-in toaster in the bathtub.

Let them know that this will happen unless, of course, Europe wants to save all of our condemned prisoners by accepting them with open arms into their countries. Goodbye, prison overcrowding.

Come on, Europe. Only you can save the United States from itself. Accept our prisoners now! Just to close the deal, we’ll throw in Anthony Kennedy and California’s entire Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

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"It Takes a Village" Turns 10 — Party Cancelled Due To Second-Hand Candle Smoke Concerns

The title of Hillary Clinton’s decade-old book that pretty much sums up an entire political and philosophical mindset, “It takes a village,” is now ten years old.

To celebrate, Hillary is making a media tour this week and presenting an “updated” version for the kids, complete with a campaign donation envelope and a chapter entitled “Barack Obama will kill Santa Claus.”

The book would have had a ten-year birthday party complete with a candle-covered cake, but “the village” passed carbon emissions and second-hand smoke laws and can’t light candles indoors (or outdoors on windy days). A group of villagers were also going to sing the birthday song to the book, but that was banned from being sung in public until the courts decide if the word “dear” should be removed pending the results of a sexual harassment (“unwanted verbal groping”) lawsuit filed by a member of said village against a fellow villager.

Other than that, happy birthday, “It takes a village”! You’ve really taught us how to raise our children. What would we have done without you?

The book opens with a quote from author Herman Melville. Somewhat fitting, don’t you think, that a man who wrote about the terror and damage that is inflicted by a great white whale is quoted right off the bat? It’s almost as if Hillary knew she was writing a sequel.

In the book, Hillary wrote that “children are not rugged individualists.” And thanks to Hillary and her cronies, they never will be if we hand them over to her “village” full of socialist lampreys.

Consider the “problems” Rodham-Clinton-Rodham outlines in our society today. Our culture has now, unfortunately, belly-flopped into the intellectually and emotionally stagnant waters of day care, latchkey kids and just plain no supervision whatsoever. Hillary’s “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” tripe-tome becomes even more nonsensical when you take into account the fact that a great deal of “the village” consists of airheaded, directionless people who had the needle torn from their moral compass as children. And why?

Because their parents were dumb enough to rely on “the village” to raise their kids for them in the first place. It takes a village to run around in circles of intentional counterproductivity.

I admit that we do need “the village.” We need “the village” for friendship, if we desire, to fix our plumbing, and to sell us our milk. We need “the village” to come to our churches, help the elderly, and fix our roads. Actually, raising our children is one of the few things we don’t (or shouldn’t) need the village for. But, as Whitney Houston sang, “the children are our future.” That statement is especially true if you’re a politician who relies on the uninformed and rootless for power.

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Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

“It Takes a Village” Turns 10 — Party Cancelled Due To Second-Hand Candle Smoke Concerns

The title of Hillary Clinton’s decade-old book that pretty much sums up an entire political and philosophical mindset, “It takes a village,” is now ten years old.

To celebrate, Hillary is making a media tour this week and presenting an “updated” version for the kids, complete with a campaign donation envelope and a chapter entitled “Barack Obama will kill Santa Claus.”

The book would have had a ten-year birthday party complete with a candle-covered cake, but “the village” passed carbon emissions and second-hand smoke laws and can’t light candles indoors (or outdoors on windy days). A group of villagers were also going to sing the birthday song to the book, but that was banned from being sung in public until the courts decide if the word “dear” should be removed pending the results of a sexual harassment (“unwanted verbal groping”) lawsuit filed by a member of said village against a fellow villager.

Other than that, happy birthday, “It takes a village”! You’ve really taught us how to raise our children. What would we have done without you?

The book opens with a quote from author Herman Melville. Somewhat fitting, don’t you think, that a man who wrote about the terror and damage that is inflicted by a great white whale is quoted right off the bat? It’s almost as if Hillary knew she was writing a sequel.

In the book, Hillary wrote that “children are not rugged individualists.” And thanks to Hillary and her cronies, they never will be if we hand them over to her “village” full of socialist lampreys.

Consider the “problems” Rodham-Clinton-Rodham outlines in our society today. Our culture has now, unfortunately, belly-flopped into the intellectually and emotionally stagnant waters of day care, latchkey kids and just plain no supervision whatsoever. Hillary’s “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” tripe-tome becomes even more nonsensical when you take into account the fact that a great deal of “the village” consists of airheaded, directionless people who had the needle torn from their moral compass as children. And why?

Because their parents were dumb enough to rely on “the village” to raise their kids for them in the first place. It takes a village to run around in circles of intentional counterproductivity.

I admit that we do need “the village.” We need “the village” for friendship, if we desire, to fix our plumbing, and to sell us our milk. We need “the village” to come to our churches, help the elderly, and fix our roads. Actually, raising our children is one of the few things we don’t (or shouldn’t) need the village for. But, as Whitney Houston sang, “the children are our future.” That statement is especially true if you’re a politician who relies on the uninformed and rootless for power.

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Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

As Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year' I Pledge To…

It’s not every morning you get up and discover that you’ve been named Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.” 

Here is the reasoning behind this choice.

How exciting. I beat out Kim Jong Il, Pope Benedict XVI, President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. If it weren’t for me, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would have been named “Person of the Year.” He seeks enriched uranium, but I only seek enriched flour. Time’s Editorial Board obviously values this contribution to our nation’s farmers and the health of the children.

I was also a little surprised to find out that I control the information age, which, if you know me and computers, should make you feel like you would if you jumped into a NYC cab at 2 o’clock in the morning and your driver was a giggling Danny DeVito.

This is a heavy responsibility, and I hope I don’t let everybody down.

Here are my plans. As “Person of the Year” I pledge to:

— Inform Jack Kevorkian that a condition of his parole is that he and his van have to set up shop in the parking lot of a Malibu convenience store.

— Keep a close eye on Time Magazine, for anybody thinking that I am worthy of “Person of the Year” has to be messing up all their other stories as well.

— As I now control the information age, I pledge to finally master the ins and outs of my Commodore-64.

— By spring of ’07, all leftist bumper stickers such as “you can’t hug your kids with nuclear arms” and “practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” must be replaced by a sticker sporting a picture of Hillary Clinton and the words, “if abortion is outlawed, only outlaws will be allowed to screw around with my husband”

— Make anybody who votes for a Kennedy have to ride in a car with them.

— Reinforce the rear bumpers of all ambulances so they’re protected if they come to a sudden stop in front of John Edwards‘ pursuing car.

— Hire Judith Regan to put out my book, “Of course O.J. did it, ya bonehead!”

— Get my script for Rocky VII — where the Italian Stallion faces the biggest fight of his life: prostate trouble – into the hands of Sylvester Stallone

— Put an emergency plan into place in the event Nancy Pelosi’s facelift gives way (current status: LiftCon-3) and threatens the eastern seaboard with a violent facial flesh tsunami.

— At some point during the coming year, stop laughing at Dennis Kucinich for thinking he has a chance to win the Democrats nomination for president.

There are many more, but time is short as I must go accept the “Person of the Year” crown. Frankly, I think the talent competition was what put me over the top. I knew those accordion lessons would pay off.

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Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

As Time Magazine’s ‘Person of the Year’ I Pledge To…

It’s not every morning you get up and discover that you’ve been named Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.” 

Here is the reasoning behind this choice.

How exciting. I beat out Kim Jong Il, Pope Benedict XVI, President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. If it weren’t for me, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would have been named “Person of the Year.” He seeks enriched uranium, but I only seek enriched flour. Time’s Editorial Board obviously values this contribution to our nation’s farmers and the health of the children.

I was also a little surprised to find out that I control the information age, which, if you know me and computers, should make you feel like you would if you jumped into a NYC cab at 2 o’clock in the morning and your driver was a giggling Danny DeVito.

This is a heavy responsibility, and I hope I don’t let everybody down.

Here are my plans. As “Person of the Year” I pledge to:

— Inform Jack Kevorkian that a condition of his parole is that he and his van have to set up shop in the parking lot of a Malibu convenience store.

— Keep a close eye on Time Magazine, for anybody thinking that I am worthy of “Person of the Year” has to be messing up all their other stories as well.

— As I now control the information age, I pledge to finally master the ins and outs of my Commodore-64.

— By spring of ’07, all leftist bumper stickers such as “you can’t hug your kids with nuclear arms” and “practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” must be replaced by a sticker sporting a picture of Hillary Clinton and the words, “if abortion is outlawed, only outlaws will be allowed to screw around with my husband”

— Make anybody who votes for a Kennedy have to ride in a car with them.

— Reinforce the rear bumpers of all ambulances so they’re protected if they come to a sudden stop in front of John Edwards‘ pursuing car.

— Hire Judith Regan to put out my book, “Of course O.J. did it, ya bonehead!”

— Get my script for Rocky VII — where the Italian Stallion faces the biggest fight of his life: prostate trouble – into the hands of Sylvester Stallone

— Put an emergency plan into place in the event Nancy Pelosi’s facelift gives way (current status: LiftCon-3) and threatens the eastern seaboard with a violent facial flesh tsunami.

— At some point during the coming year, stop laughing at Dennis Kucinich for thinking he has a chance to win the Democrats nomination for president.

There are many more, but time is short as I must go accept the “Person of the Year” crown. Frankly, I think the talent competition was what put me over the top. I knew those accordion lessons would pay off.

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Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

The Passion of the Pantsuit: Hillary Is Like The Second Coming of Christ?

Hold on to your hat, because this is in the New York Times today:

Probably the juiciest power lunch of the week unfolded at the Four Seasons yesterday as Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton sized up her 2008 presidential chances with none other than the Republican power broker Alfonse M. D’Amato, with former Mayor Edward I. Koch merrily riding shotgun.

Then later:

The restaurant’s Grill Room, usually filled with power lunchers, where Vernon Jordan and Sanford Weill were among the patrons yesterday, began buzzing madly when Mrs. Clinton walked in around 1, the two men said, and about 25 people came by to say hello as she was preparing to leave at 3.

“It was like the Second Coming of Christ,” said Julian Niccolini, the co-owner.

The Second Coming of Christ? Wow. For somebody who probably sees Paris Hilton, Mario Cuomo, George Clooney and Donald Trump fairly regularly, this is saying something!

Before laughing, we should first be appreciative that a liberal (Mr. Niccolini was observed wearing a Hillary button) is admitting that there was indeed a first coming of Christ.

This got me to wondering how this particular Second Coming of Hillary might be described in a New-New Testament. Probably a little like the resurrection, but with a twist, like this:

And the DNC said one to another, ‘who shall roll us back the stone from the door of the sepulchre?’ And looking, they saw the stone rolled back, which caused someone a severe back injury – prompting discussions on long-term disability legislation.

And entering into the sepulchre, which turned out to be a Four Seasons, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, adorned with a “Hillary for President” button and “nobody died when Clinton lied” t-shirt: and they were astonished. Who saith to them: Be not affrighted, you seek Hillary of Chappequa, who was buried for years in the Ozarks, but she is risen: she is not here. Don’t question this fact, for she has your FBI file.

But go, tell her disciples at the union hall that she goeth before you into DC. There you shall see her, from a great distance, as she told you.

But they going out, fled from the Four Seasons: for a trembling and fear had seized them, for they realized they were standing on a tarp and dangerously near Ft. Marcy Park. And they said nothing to any man: for they were afraid — their computer hard drives were missing.

But she rising early the first day of the week, appeared first to Mary Matalin; out of whom Hillary had cast seven devils but let James Carville remain, for she would need him to run her presidential campaign.

And she gathered the disciples together and served them loaves and fishes on china marked “Property of the White House.”

And she said to them: Go ye into the whole world and preach national health care to every creature, then purchase property, sell them lots for double-wides and land-flip until the property values are an artificially high number, harming the meek, but they’ll inherit the earth anyway so it doesn’t matter. Use thy proceeds to tythe to my campaign for the good of all God’s creations, then foreclose on the residents and repeat thy procedure.

And she said to them: There shall be no more sadness; And there shall be no more gagging interns; And there shall be no more tax breaks for the wealthy; And there shall be no more Wal-Mart; And there shall be no more people pointing out that I used to be on the Board of Directors of the devil’s company; And there shall be no more people questioning my motives. These things we will do for the children.

**Major apologies to Mark, Chapter 16

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The Duke Rape Case, New DNA Evidence, and How To Handle Out-of-Control Prosecutors

As of this moment, we’re still unsure of all the facts in the Duke lacrosse “rape” case, particularly those of us whose only knowledge of the situation comes from news reports and the blogosphere. However, it is beginning to look like the accused players might be getting railroaded to the point where the prosecutor should provide them with “Union Pacific” t-shirts.

Every time we look at somebody who may be wrongly accused we should shudder and think, “there but for the grace of God,” and investigate fully.

Defense attorneys for the three men from Duke’s lacrosse team charged with raping a stripper at a party have filed a motion with the court, as DNA testing found genetic material in the accuser’s body and underwear, but none of it was from any of the three defendants.

Here’s the story.

This means either the accuser was with other men (willingly or unwillingly we don’t know), or did a feet-first Slip-n-Slide through the mens room at a football stadium. Either way, it’s not looking good for the prosecutor’s case, but he’s showing no signs of letting up. Why?

This case will play itself out, and not being a fly on the wall during any of this I can’t comment on the particulars, but I’d like to focus more on the prosecutorial end of things. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the accused are being used for some purpose other than the pursuit of justice. If it turns out to be the prosecutor who is continuing pursue increasingly discredited allegations, severe action needs to be taken.

District Attorney Mike Nifong has been accused of pursuing the case for political gain in a re-election year, and Republican Rep. Walter Jones wants the U.S. Department of Justice to investigate Nifong’s conduct in the case.

In the meantime, here’s my modest proposal, and this would apply in general for any would-be out-of-control prosecutor: Let it be known going in that should solid evidence be found that a prosecutor pursued a false or grossly misleading case against any citizen, that said prosecutor be subject to the same sentence they sought to impose on the defendant.

Who knows how many people are in jail due to zealous prosecutors and their lofty goals that had little to do with the alleged crimes by the accused. In addition, prosecutors who have to seek re-election is a questionable way to run a system. On one hand, said prosecutor is directly responsible to the citizens who have a hand on the lever of their entire career, but on the other hand, the odds that a prosecutor will play to the prides and prejudices of the makeup of any given community at the expense of justice for the accused go way up. It sounds as if the latter could be what’s happening in the Duke case.

This country has enough trouble putting actual criminals in prison without using so much time and resource to manufacture cases against the people because some prosecutor wants to be re-elected.

There are few more heinous crimes than willingly ruining the life of an innocent person to gain political power, and this should be addressed by sentencing rogue prosecutors (and judges, and politicians, etc.) who are found to have willingly engaged in this act to the same sentences they sought for those they accused.

If this turns out to be the fact of the matter in the Duke case, we can call it “Nifong’s Law.” Having a law named after you is a good way to impress your cellmate while simultaneously helping out any would-be future victims of legal and/or political zealotry.

 *******

Addendum: For more on the topic of a skunky justice system, David Usher, in the comments section for this post on MensNewsDaily, points us to a good article he wrote on the subject a while back which points out what can be done about it.

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Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

The Democrats Moment of Terror

Earlier today, it was reported that South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson, a Democrat, suffered a stroke.

With the Democrats holding a one-vote margin in the Senate in the coming term, this was a major Maalox moment for the Dems, especially since South Dakota’s Republican governor would be choosing Johnson’s replacement if Johnson would have been unable to serve in January.

So, it turns out that Johnson didn’t have a stroke, but was hospitalized for dizzyness – which is the mandatory malady for about two-thirds of the Senate, as a matter of fact.

Ironically, as a result of Johnson’s scare, dozens of Senate Democrats more than likely did have a stoke. I think even Teddy had one, but it’s hard to tell the difference.

Update (Thursday 11 a.m. est): Now it appears that Johnson is in critical condition. Democrats, it’s okay to keep sweating.