McJournalism! Trump’s fast food buffet for Clemson players had the Washington Post trying to make Burger-Gate a thing

Pulitzer!

President Trump had the national champion Clemson Tigers football team to the White House yesterday, and because of the shutdown he had to improvise out of his own pocket:

The Washington Post’s journalistic instincts kicked in quickly:

I smell a Pulitzer in the air!

Oh, and then the paper that once brought down a presidency crunched Trump’s original count on the number of burgers in the hopes of making “Burger-Gate” a new thing:

Leave it to “journalists” to do more investigating when a president spends his own money on something as opposed to everybody else’s.

Hopefully next an intrepid journalist does an investigation into exactly what a “berder” is. That whole WaPo “investigation” comes across as an audition for a job at CNN.

Also, I don’t want to brag, but I called it. Here’s proof:

The shot:

And the chasers:

Excuse me, but I’ll be spending the rest of the day thinking about the liberal media reactions to Trump’s burger-fest and doing this:

NBC News bombshell: Trump’s golf course in Scotland loses money like many other courses, meaning Putin might be giving him money to maintain it, or something

If not standing up to Putin means you’re receiving $$ from him, how much did Obama get?

For my money the funniest part of this NBC News report about Trump losing money on his golf club in Scotland is that it’s about 8 minutes long and they wait until the last 15 seconds to point out that golf course owners rarely profit from their properties. But whatever it takes to help the Democrats keep life in their Russia narrative:

That story — the entire thing — is based on one golf writer’s claim four years ago that Eric Trump told him the family gets from Russia some of the money for courses they buy, which Trump has denied.

Top Dem “Russia collusion” conspiracy theorist Rep. Adam Schiff picked up on NBC’s report quickly, of course:

If not standing up to Putin means you’re receiving $$ from Russia, how much did Obama get?

Golden State Warriors coach slams NFL’s new anthem policy, gets dunked on by NBA rulebook

The NFL’s new “no on-field protesting during the National Anthem” policy has been criticized by NBA coach Steve Kerr:

Does Kerr realize what league he works in?

Getting Hillary to admit she’s to blame for her election loss would be easier than finding a liberal with self-awareness.

Gay Olympic figure skater who slammed Mike Pence wishes media wouldn’t focus on what he said about Mike Pence

Figure skater Adam Rippon was critical of Mike Pence for showing up at the Winter Olympics in South Korea, which of course the media ran with:

But after all that, Rippon didn’t want that to be the media focus:

During a press conference Tuesday, Rippon — the first openly gay athlete selected to a U.S. Winter Olympic team — said he doesn’t want the attention on his comments on Pence to distract from his teammates.

“I don’t want my Olympic experience being about Mike Pence,” he said, according to CNN.

Rippon added that he stands by the comments he has made about the vice president, whom he has criticized for his views on LGBTQ rights.

“I have no problem about what I’ve said because I stand by it, but I think right now the Olympics are about Olympic competition,” Rippon said.

That guy’s trying to land the triple-axel of mixed messages and win the gold in backpedaling.

Also, Rippon would appreciate it if everybody would quit talking about the aspect of his life he’s been talking about almost constantly:

Good God… the Olympics need to add a “Projection” competition.

(h/t Twitchy)

Progressive thought experiment: If a Dorito is spotted at the next NARAL meeting, is it a hate crime?

During the Super Bowl on Sunday night, the abortion fanatics at NARAL really showed that they know how to party:

The pro-choice organization NARAL livetweeted their thoughts during the Super Bowl Sunday, at one point denouncing a Doritos ad for featuring a fetus.

The Doritos ad in question showed a father eating Doritos while his pregnant wife received an ultrasound. The baby reacts strongly to the Doritos whenever Dad gets close with a chip. At the end, the baby physically launches itself out of the womb to try to get Doritos.

These people are straight-up freaky:

The ad humanized a human being? How offensive!

NARAL would have obviously preferred it if fetus had been chopped up and sold off piece by piece.

Time once again to play ‘Who Threw That Baseball Better?’

Welcome to “Who Threw That Baseball Better?”

Today’s first contestant is a 103-year-old woman from Texas:

Our second contestant is a U.S. president half the age of our first contestant:

You be the judge: WHOOOOO threw that baseball better?

A past version of “Who Threw That Baseball Better” is here.

Coach Nick ‘Rodham’ Saban: Master motivator

If this quote in a forthcoming book about Nick Saban is accurate, the Alabama coach is a master motivator for getting his players’ minds off distracting thoughts and back on the field of play:

The Alabama football coach imparts life lessons in a new biography by Monte Burke, and though the book itself isn’t out yet, an excerpt was published on Twitter Monday where Saban is giving his players dating advice.

From the excerpt:

“‘Guys out there chasing pussy, having all of these kids. And then you come in here and try to play football. Ultimately it’s a distraction. Ultimately, you don’t want to be out there chasing after midnight. If you haven’t locked it up by midnight, it’s not worth it.’”

“At this point Saban paused and shuffled on his feet. The color had risen in his face. His players had no idea what to expect next.”

“‘Ultimately, you never want to sleep with anybody who has less to lose than you do,’ he said, ‘So, ultimately, if I’m ever going to sleep around on Miss Terry, it’s going to be with Hillary Fucking Rodham Clinton.’”

Saban’s players immediately ran from the locker room and became practitioners of Buddhist monasticism.

Bill Clinton then swooped in and hit on their confused girlfriends.

St. Louis Rams players do ‘hand up don’t shoot’ at beginning of game

Who wants a few millionaire dipshits pushing a manufactured meme about the Ferguson shooting in front of tens of thousands of people?

Nice. For the sake of accuracy, were the concession stands looted too?

Next week Al Sharpton should be the Rams’ “guest coach.” They might not win, but he could show team ownership how to save a fortune on taxes.

The Rams beat the Raiders 52-0, so the people who genuinely made the gesture for surrender before the game even started weren’t on the St. Louis side, but some of them are still losers.

Duuuuude: Obama’s Olympics interview & Bob Costas’ giant orb of obedience

It’s been a pretty trippin’ Olympics so far.

President Obama was of course interviewed during the opening ceremony of the Olympics (otherwise known as “the games that take place as a background for NBC’s Obama interviews”), and from the look of things he’d been hanging out with the snowboarding team in the Choom Wagon:

I spotted Air Force One in the distance yesterday after Obama spoke at Michigan State, and maybe those contrails weren’t from the plane’s engines.

Prior to that I was transfixed by this:

Bob Costas’ “orb of obedience” instructed me to “change the channel.” I complied and am now awaiting the next arrival of the Hale Bopp comet.

Heh: Sign for ‘missing dog’ spotted near dining area in Sochi

Sign spotted near a dining area close to the site of the Olympic Games:

Is the chef expecting a visit from President Obama?

I kid! I kid!

This concludes “Cheap, Out-dated Joke Thursday.”