NASCAR Chairman and CEO Brian France was a guest on MSNBC on Thursday to talk about the sport’s green initiatives in advance of Earth Day.

France was asked several questions about NASCAR’s environmental push by anchor Thomas Roberts, who apparently thinks race cars are actually fighter jets.

“The obvious draw for NASCAR is the speed,” Roberts said to France. “Cars going up to about 500 mph, right?”

And these are the people who are going to spend the next 200 days calling Romney out of touch?

France didn’t respond to the 500 mph claim, but I would have replied, “Yes, Thomas, and by going 500 miles per hour we get the race over a lot faster, thus sparing the environment unnecessary pollution. We’re Al Gore approved!”

Extra credit question for Thomas Roberts: Assuming the cars go 500 miles per hour, why does it take several hours to complete the Daytona 500?

Canseco spent the day yesterday doubling and tripling down on that.

And if the science in the above Tweet was just a little above your intellectual pay grade, he made sure to break it down for the morons:

Thanks Jose, I think we’ve got it now.

Actually in that case the Titanic would have run into a bunch of polar bears treading water.

To be fair, the NFL also moved the 2008 season opener to a different day so it wouldn’t interfere whatsoever with John McCain’s acceptance speech. What? Oh, nevermind.

From CBS News:

National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday that the NFL is holding its opening game of the 2012-2013 season on Wednesday, September 5 in order to avoid conflict with President Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention, scheduled for the next night.

The game, hosted by the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, will begin on September 5 at 8:20 p.m. Eastern Time. The opposing team has yet to be determined. Mr. Obama’s speech on September 6 is set to be held at Charlotte, North Carolina’s Bank of America Stadium.

A Democratic official told Hotsheet that Democrats did not request the change.

“The decision to move the NFL season opener was made by the league alone, not at the request of the [Democratic National Convention Committee] or Obama Campaign,” said the official.

Instead, the game will be played at the same time Joe Biden will be giving his acceptance speech, so the good news is that you’re likely to see some fumbling no matter which one you decide to watch.

There hasn’t been an NFL game on a Wednesday since September of 1948, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the league giving deference to Harry Truman.

(h/t Right Sphere)

This is what happens if you crash the crease when Teresa’s in goal:

Hockey is a rough sport; just ask Senator John Kerry, D-Mass.

The senator was attending a ceremony for his hometown hockey team, the Boston Bruins, at the White House today when he publicly debuted the remnants of his own hockey injury.

Kerry appeared to have two black eyes and a swollen nose. His senate office said the black and blue was caused by a nose injury during a hockey game the senator participated in recently.

“He’s totally fine,” Kerry spokeswoman Whitney Smith told ABC News, “Very ironically he busted his nose recently playing ice hockey, so the Bruins can certainly relate.”

The good news is that Kerry now thinks he’s a lock for another Purple Heart.

Update: ZIP has a better photo. Thurston looks like he’s been on a three-day caviar & Chataeu Lafite bender.

Joe Paterno, the iconic former Penn State football coach whose legend was tarnished when he was fired in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, has died, his family confirmed Sunday. He was 85.

Doctors had said Saturday that Paterno’s condition had become ”serious” in recent days after he experienced complications from lung cancer.

The winningest major-college football coach of all time with 409 victories and two national titles, Paterno was diagnosed shortly after Penn State’s Board of Trustees ousted him Nov. 9 following the child sex-abuse charges against Sandusky, his former assistant.