With that kind of financial hit, some of our weapons systems will be affected and need to be adjusted accordingly. Today, President Obama tested something that could be standard issue for our warriors in the field in this era of military austerity: The Marshmallow Cannon:

This is why Obama played the role of assignment editor today to get the word out. He wants China, North Korea and Iran to know that they are now officially on notice (from the looks of Kim Jong Un though, he’d probably beg to have marshmallows shot at him):

The US Navy’s closest fleet is still out of range, as is Israel:

At first, Iran claimed it had launched three long range missiles; a pronouncement at the end of ten days of war games in the Strait of Hormuz designed to test the patience of western nations as they weigh how to sanction Iran’s oil exports.

“We are able to announce that our shore-to-sea missile systems are so powerful that we can hit any target, any time, if it’s necessary” announced Habibulah Sayari, Iranian Navy Commander.

Seyyed Mahmoud Moussavi, Iranian Military Drills Spokesman, stated “Both missiles hit the intended targets successfully.”

It turned out the missiles weren’t that long range after all.

The Qhader missile, introduced in September, has a range of just 124 miles. The U.S. Navy’s fifth fleet in Bahrain is 150 miles from Iran. Israel is four times farther.

So Iran’s “long range” missile goes about as far as a Chevy Volt on a full battery and a quarter tank of backup gas.

Previously Iran was caught Photoshopping missile tests.

This top secret video obtained from a source in Tehran reveals that the latest test didn’t go quite as successfully as Iran claims:

Kim Jong Il’s son — I think his name’s Skippy — was officially declared “Supreme Leader” today, and he’s already issued his first threat to attack South Korea. How cute. Papa would be so proud:

Kim Jong-un, who was declared Supreme Leader of North Korea yesterday, issued his first terrifying threat of war today.

North Korea may “smash the stronghold of the puppet forces” in the South in retaliation for “hideous crimes” committed during the mourning period for Kim Jong-il.

Threats of war from Kim Jong-un’s father, though terrifying, were routine. His father threatened and attacked the South multiple times, but he never started a war or launched a nuclear offensive or used his artillery force to devastate Seoul.

Unfortunately, no one knows what to expect from the 28-year-old Kim Jong-un. We hope he’s just making noise to show people he’s not to be messed with.

Just to be safe, the United Nations has suggested that South Korea surrender unconditionally.

From ABC News:

Rep. Ron Paul took an interesting position for a likely presidential candidate Tuesday – he explained to a Iowa radio station why he would not have ordered the killing of Osama bin Laden.

The answer seemed to catch Iowa radio host Simon Conway off guard; he asked Paul to repeat it.

Paul was unequivocal: “No, not the way it took place,” Paul said of the killing of bin Laden.

Why?

“It was absolutely not necessary and I think respect for the rule of law, international law – what if he’d been in a hotel in London?” Paul asked. “We wanted to keep it secret. Would we have sent the helicopters into London? Because they were afraid the information would get out. No you don’t want to do that.”

Paul said the U.S. government should have worked with the Pakistani government, respecting borders, to get at Osama bin Laden.

If Bin Laden had been in a hotel in London the US probably wouldn’t have had to send in special forces, because the last I checked the Brits are, you know, our close allies and probably would have been happy to get Osama themselves. If we’d have found out Bin Laden had been living in London for years and the Brits didn’t do anything about it, then I’d say the “friend of the US” status would be in question — as should be the case now with Pakistan.

Semi-related: This parody ad cracks me up:

Update: There’s a new Ron Paul ad out — “The One.” Hmm, why does that sound so familiar.

President Obama is tired of being accused of appeasement, and it shows. I mean, come on, y’all… it’s been months since he bowed to a foreign leader.

Before you watch the video below of the Terminator you might want to first click “play” right here to launch the appropriate background music:

Okay, now cue up President Badass:

I have no problem with taking out terrorists. What’s the source of continual amusement is that this is the same man who three years ago said enhanced interrogations of terror suspects and holding them without due process were among the worst things human beings could do to another — and now he’s bragging about capping them in the field. But at least they’re not being waterboarded.

Give the prez credit though, he’s killed off plenty of undesirables: Osama bin Laden… Anwar al-Awlaki… the US economy…