The usual Saturday roundup to kick off the weekend

Lots happening this weekend.

Jennifer Wilbanks, the woman who was to be married this weekend and has been missing for days, has been found alive. It turns out that Wilbanks was just doing research so she could write the script for “Runaway Bride II”.

When it was first reported that something may have happened to her while she was out jogging, it made me think about how many problems joggers have had in the past few years. Nobody can convince me anymore that jogging is healthy. How many joggers have been beaten, kidnapped, or worse? Now, how many people sitting on the couch eating Doritos and watching TV have been victims of the same thing? Wilbanks’ jogging wasn’t bad for her, in this case, but it sure wasn’t healthy for her fiance, because she ran right away from him and broke his heart. If this wedding goes forward, I’d suggest one of her vows be that she’ll give up jogging.

You’ve heard dirtbag right-to-kill attorney George Felos’ version of Terri Schiavo’s dehydration and starvation… How she “never looked more beautiful”. Now read the version of a Priest who was at her bedside in her final hours. Felos really has to be one sick puppy to call that beauty, even though he knows he was lying about it, the very fact that lightning didn’t strike as he spoke those words has to make you question the existence of a benevolent God… or at least in a God that can readily deal with a complete pusbucket.

Twinkies turn 75 years old today. Hmm, you couldn’t even tell by the taste. It’s amazing what preservatives can do. Twinkies are great… it’s one of those snack foods that you could bury in the ground, and in 1,500 years when a team of archaeologists dug it up, they’d say, “Hey look, a Twinkie!”

Bid on the Popemobile! A 1999 Volkswagon Golf is for sale on eBay. The car was once owned by the now Pope Benedict XVI. “It drives like heaven”, according to the seller. Presumably Cardinal Ratzinger unloaded the car because he knew he was going to be Pope someday soon, and needed a vehicle with more “big hat room”.

NASA scientists are fascinated because the Mars Rover has discovered quicksand on the Red Planet. How can they be sure? Because the Mars Rover sunk in quicksand. Duh!

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: