Madonna’s new Kabbalah Center: No shoes, no cone bra, no service

Madonna has purchased a home in central London to be used as a Kabbalah Center. Check out this sentence from the story in

The star, who became a Kabbalah devotee in the Nineties, has purchased the five-storey Georgian house to be used as a hotel cum drop-in centre for the sect.

That last part, including the spelling, is an actual phrase in Europe. The Brits certainly do have a way of wording things so they’re entirely accurate to the occasion, don’t they?

Other famous followers of Kabbalah are such intellectual luminaries as Britney Spears, Demi Moore and Barbra Streisand, a group whose synapse often misfire like the original spark plugs on a ’74 Buick Skylark.

Madonna makes for an interesting case study in cause vs. effect vs. escape.

At one time, Madonna ruled the world of pop music. She was riding high atop the charts, along with several athletes and actors. Her album “Like a Virgin” has sold around 20 million copies, half of which were purchased by collectors who knew it could be the last time the world would ever see Madonna and the word “virgin” in the same photo.

Madonna has since “reinvented” herself a couple hundred times – each reinvention a little filthier than the next until the day she realized that the only way she could get nastier would be to engage in Internet porn with six circus clowns and a pack mule. She then put the brakes on (couldn’t find a pack mule), had kids and made a couple of movies that were the celluloid equivalent of a root canal.

She now lives in England, where she badmouths the United States and comes here only often enough to pick up sacks full of money, have her rump smooched on the Oprah Winfrey show and make headlines by quivering the cargo pants of teen-age boys everywhere via a make-out session with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on the MTV video music awards show. The old pop star open-mouthing the new pop stars. It was like a “passing of the bimbo torch” ceremony for bleach-blonde doofus diva skanks.

Madonna, of course, left the U.S. because it was becoming a bad place to raise children. Ironically, Madonna would have no part of raising her children in a country whose youth grew up under the skanky tutelage of their own mother.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: