DNC Chairman Howard Dean making Willy Loman look like "salesman of the year"

The Chairs of the Republican and Democrat parties have one specific job: Raise as much money as possible.

In 2004, both parties were about even in fundraising efforts, but after Howard Dean took over, in 2005 to date, the Republicans have raised more than twice the money the Democrats have. Why?

I’ve always thought of political donors to be akin to Wall Street investors. Sure, there will be people giving money no matter what, but for a lot of the big donors, they want to know the “company”, the DNC in this case, is on the right track, run by the right people, and not about to go out of business. Nobody wants to toss up their big money on a sure loser.

Couple that with the DNC’s salesman, Howard Dean, and you’ve got a surefire formula for political bankruptcy. It’s as simple as this: Nobody wants to put their prized possessions on a ship driven by Captain Hazelwood.

Later this year, I won’t be surprised if a desperate attempt by Dean to save his job leads to this:

“If we don’t have $10 million in the hat by the end of dinner, kitty dies!”

DNC Chairman Howard Dean making Willy Loman look like “salesman of the year”

The Chairs of the Republican and Democrat parties have one specific job: Raise as much money as possible.

In 2004, both parties were about even in fundraising efforts, but after Howard Dean took over, in 2005 to date, the Republicans have raised more than twice the money the Democrats have. Why?

I’ve always thought of political donors to be akin to Wall Street investors. Sure, there will be people giving money no matter what, but for a lot of the big donors, they want to know the “company”, the DNC in this case, is on the right track, run by the right people, and not about to go out of business. Nobody wants to toss up their big money on a sure loser.

Couple that with the DNC’s salesman, Howard Dean, and you’ve got a surefire formula for political bankruptcy. It’s as simple as this: Nobody wants to put their prized possessions on a ship driven by Captain Hazelwood.

Later this year, I won’t be surprised if a desperate attempt by Dean to save his job leads to this:

“If we don’t have $10 million in the hat by the end of dinner, kitty dies!”

CNN's anniversary silver is rusty

It’s kind of like the old joke. “We’re celebrating many years… a couple of ’em even good.”

CNN celebrates it’s 25th anniversary amid some serious problems– In addition to the fact that political analyst Bill Schneider speaks with a twang of unintentional condescension, as if he’s trying to teach arithmetic to a group of Labrador retrievers, and Larry King is as hard on the eyes as a warthog orgy.

Things aren’t looking rosey at CNN. This from Drudge:

CNN’s big 25th Anniversary week started with bad news: May numbers released yesterday showed CNN down 17% in total day and 16% in primetime vs. May 2004 .

6-1-05 8PM RATINGS

FOXNEWS O’Reilly Factor – 2,268,000 viewers

CNN 25th anniversary special — 345,000

MSNBC/Countdown with Keith Olbermann – 213,000

Oh man… there were more people at my parents’ 25th anniversary party than were watching CNN’s silver anniversary special.

The cause of CNN’s problems is simply self induced media myopia caused by squinting down all the time from atop an ivory tower.

When CNN began noticing a troubling ratings problem in 2004, they turned to the former “CBS News” executive Jonathan Klein to head programming and editorial direction. Under Klein, “CBS News” was consistently beaten in the ratings by the other networks.

That said, I can almost guarantee that the “board room” sales pitch to CNN suits was probably along the lines of “Yeah, but he was never beaten by FOX News!”

As long as the same people running CNN stick around for a while, FOX News is as safe as a kitten.

CNN’s anniversary silver is rusty

It’s kind of like the old joke. “We’re celebrating many years… a couple of ’em even good.”

CNN celebrates it’s 25th anniversary amid some serious problems– In addition to the fact that political analyst Bill Schneider speaks with a twang of unintentional condescension, as if he’s trying to teach arithmetic to a group of Labrador retrievers, and Larry King is as hard on the eyes as a warthog orgy.

Things aren’t looking rosey at CNN. This from Drudge:

CNN’s big 25th Anniversary week started with bad news: May numbers released yesterday showed CNN down 17% in total day and 16% in primetime vs. May 2004 .

6-1-05 8PM RATINGS

FOXNEWS O’Reilly Factor – 2,268,000 viewers

CNN 25th anniversary special — 345,000

MSNBC/Countdown with Keith Olbermann – 213,000

Oh man… there were more people at my parents’ 25th anniversary party than were watching CNN’s silver anniversary special.

The cause of CNN’s problems is simply self induced media myopia caused by squinting down all the time from atop an ivory tower.

When CNN began noticing a troubling ratings problem in 2004, they turned to the former “CBS News” executive Jonathan Klein to head programming and editorial direction. Under Klein, “CBS News” was consistently beaten in the ratings by the other networks.

That said, I can almost guarantee that the “board room” sales pitch to CNN suits was probably along the lines of “Yeah, but he was never beaten by FOX News!”

As long as the same people running CNN stick around for a while, FOX News is as safe as a kitten.

Where the rubber meets the mode: Condom ads begin airing in prime time

For condom manufacturers, it’s been a long time coming and a hard row to hoe. They met with stiff resistance in their quest to advertise on primetime network television, but were tickled pink when they got their chance. They were at the head of a movement to get people to bone up on the facts about STD’s, and… ah, nevermind…let’s get on with it…

Last night Trojan ads aired in prime time television for the first time, and, by “Trojan”, I assume this story isn’t referring to gladiators from Troy. The ads ran on NBC and the WB Network, the latter of which aired in, get this, “Smallville”. No, really.

We can be certain that there will be complaints, but protesting the offensiveness of commercials that are airing on network television is a hilarious exercise in tunnel vision on the part of the viewer.

Nine out of ten times, we’re sitting there watching a show, perhaps about drug lords, investigations in to violent deaths, or a bunch of Desperate Housewives talking about which garden vegetable is the best replacement for a man. Then, a suggestive ad will run, and that’s what ticks us off?

That’s what cracked me up about the Janet Jackson incident during halftime of the Super Bowl. We caught a glimpse of an over-inflated silicone sack lined with a ninja’s throwing star during halftime of a football game, and that was the controversy of the decade. I must agree. I hate it when my sense of decency is compromised while I’m trying to watch one of the world’s most violent sports.

Will condom ads move to daytime network television? Sure they will, and people will continue to complain that their filth is being interrupted by immoral advertisements.

Shorter version of the "Hooters Air" column for the short attention spanned, compliments of the Lansing State Journal

Living in mid-Michigan, I enjoy running a column in the hometown newspaper as often as possible. The problem usually is that their word count requirement is a couple hundred words less than the word count requirement for WorldNetDaily and some other newspapers.

Once in a while though I work on a column to get it down to their required length. This week’s Hooters Air column was one of those. It’s in today’s Lansing State Journal, now with a third less calories, not to mention words.

Shorter version of the “Hooters Air” column for the short attention spanned, compliments of the Lansing State Journal

Living in mid-Michigan, I enjoy running a column in the hometown newspaper as often as possible. The problem usually is that their word count requirement is a couple hundred words less than the word count requirement for WorldNetDaily and some other newspapers.

Once in a while though I work on a column to get it down to their required length. This week’s Hooters Air column was one of those. It’s in today’s Lansing State Journal, now with a third less calories, not to mention words.