"Yakuza crazy, man" — Idaho meteorologist says Katrina caused by ticked-off Japanese mafia

The Yakuza, or Japanese mafia, bought a secret weather changing weapon from the Soviets years ago, and used it to trigger hurricane Katrina in retaliation for the Hiroshima atomic bombing.

Apparently there wasn’t anybody in Nagasaki that the Yakuza like, because revenge for that city isn’t mentioned.

This latest wingnut alert is brought to you courtesy Scott Stevens, meteorologist at KPVI in Pocatello, Idaho. And he looks so normal, too. The real meat in this nutburger is on Scott’s personal website, though.

Oh well… I’ll say this, it’s good to finally hear from somebody with a fringe theory that isn’t “global warming” or “Bush has a secret weather machine”.

By the way, if Stevens is correct, the Yakuza probably have another storm in the works for the United States. The first one was in retaliation for Hiroshima, and the next one will be payback for our nuclear testing in the South Pacific, which, of course, created Godzilla. We can’t say we didn’t have it coming.

Update: Stevens has quit his job at KPVI to pursue his theory full time. God speed, Scott. In your travels, say hi to Bigfoot and Nessie for us.

Japanese “tourists”, or Yakuza running reconnaissance?
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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“Yakuza crazy, man” — Idaho meteorologist says Katrina caused by ticked-off Japanese mafia

The Yakuza, or Japanese mafia, bought a secret weather changing weapon from the Soviets years ago, and used it to trigger hurricane Katrina in retaliation for the Hiroshima atomic bombing.

Apparently there wasn’t anybody in Nagasaki that the Yakuza like, because revenge for that city isn’t mentioned.

This latest wingnut alert is brought to you courtesy Scott Stevens, meteorologist at KPVI in Pocatello, Idaho. And he looks so normal, too. The real meat in this nutburger is on Scott’s personal website, though.

Oh well… I’ll say this, it’s good to finally hear from somebody with a fringe theory that isn’t “global warming” or “Bush has a secret weather machine”.

By the way, if Stevens is correct, the Yakuza probably have another storm in the works for the United States. The first one was in retaliation for Hiroshima, and the next one will be payback for our nuclear testing in the South Pacific, which, of course, created Godzilla. We can’t say we didn’t have it coming.

Update: Stevens has quit his job at KPVI to pursue his theory full time. God speed, Scott. In your travels, say hi to Bigfoot and Nessie for us.

Japanese “tourists”, or Yakuza running reconnaissance?
__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Rodham Cowboy: Hillary saddles up to vote against Judge Roberts' nomination

No real shocker here. Hillary Rodham Clinton announced on her Senate website that she’ll vote against John Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Her explanation is 765 words long, but here’s the short version:

“Judge Roberts blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah.”

You get the idea. It’s as predictable as mullet haircuts at Rosie O’Donnell’s birthday party.

At first, I figured maybe Hillary would clear Roberts so she could raise a more effective stink on Bush’s next, perhaps more conservative nominee, but maybe it’s the heat from Al Gore pulling her back to the left more quickly than she planned.
__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Rodham Cowboy: Hillary saddles up to vote against Judge Roberts’ nomination

No real shocker here. Hillary Rodham Clinton announced on her Senate website that she’ll vote against John Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Her explanation is 765 words long, but here’s the short version:

“Judge Roberts blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah blah blah against abortion blah blah blah blah.”

You get the idea. It’s as predictable as mullet haircuts at Rosie O’Donnell’s birthday party.

At first, I figured maybe Hillary would clear Roberts so she could raise a more effective stink on Bush’s next, perhaps more conservative nominee, but maybe it’s the heat from Al Gore pulling her back to the left more quickly than she planned.
__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

A potential Al Gore comeback: The will "new Nixon" run?

How will Al Gore make out this time?

The former VP and chad-covered presidential wannabe is ratcheting up his public appearance schedule, leading many to speculate that he’ll be in contention for the Dems nomination once again.

According to somebody described as what has become an oxymoron in recent years, a “democratic strategist” said:

“Americans love comebacks and Gore could come back as a real human being instead of a wooden guy. He could come back as the new Nixon — somebody who went into the wilderness and found himself.”

Well, went into the wilderness, anyway. Remember when Gore got lost in the woods once and the Secret Service had to go get him? Best to leave any wilderness references out of this, boys.

One thing Gore will have to get over quickly is that, judging by speeches in the past few years, it’s pretty apparent that this is one ticked-off man, bitter to the core at … well … all of us.

Hardly surprising though.

For eight years, Gore defended his lying, adulterous boss while watching his wife, Tipper, slap parental warning stickers everywhere except where they belonged – on Bill Clinton’s pants. During those years, Gore observed Clinton’s successful election and re-election, and naturally tried to emulate him politically.

The problem for Gore was that, as it is with watching great athletes and musicians, the Clinton’s make it look so easy that anybody thinks they can do it. In trying to copy the pattern of his former boss in achieving the nation’s highest office, Gore was like a three-fingered shop teacher convinced he can perform the same sleight of hand magic of David Copperfield. In doing so, Gore dropped the cards all over the floor, right next to his marbles.

The root of Gore’s real downhill emotional spiral began at the presidential debate where he wore so much makeup that Tammy Faye Bakker told him to “cool it on the foundation.” Gore looked like he rear-ended a Maybelline truck on his way to the theater that night. The content of the debate was lost amid the comments about Gore’s appearance, which even from his supporters were something along the lines of the mournfully positive fib you hear from the family at a funeral visitation – “Pop looks good, doesn’t he?”

Winning the popular vote and losing the election furthered the fierce combination of rage and depression, prompting Gore to go back to Tennessee and work on getting himself ready to play the role of Mr. French in “A Family Affair on Broadway”.

The sinking feelings of what might have been, combined with going from being a stone’s throw from the presidency to a tiny footnote in the history books, may have gotten the better of Gore, but then he decided to dive back into the political pool – head first, into water three feet deep.

Gore endorsed Howard Dean. The news was huge. This was the boost that would put Dean over the top – and did it ever. Dean was so excited, he let out a scream like an unsuspecting janitor at Lane Bryant who just barged in on Bea Arthur in the changing room.

Gore’s endorsement went to the same place his presidential hopes were dashed – south. It’s been all downhill for him since. Until, perhaps, now.

Gore will differentiate himself from Hillary, who is to the right of Gore on the war, and the Democrat base may once again give him a try, as long as can fend off Kerry and there are enough people who are stupid enough to believe that hurricanes Katrina and Rita were caused by Roger Ailes’ SUV and Laura Bush’s hairspray, the deck may be stacked in Gore’s favor.

Gore, at a recent speech, cracks everybody up with his Nikita Kruschev impression

__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

A potential Al Gore comeback: The will “new Nixon” run?

How will Al Gore make out this time?

The former VP and chad-covered presidential wannabe is ratcheting up his public appearance schedule, leading many to speculate that he’ll be in contention for the Dems nomination once again.

According to somebody described as what has become an oxymoron in recent years, a “democratic strategist” said:

“Americans love comebacks and Gore could come back as a real human being instead of a wooden guy. He could come back as the new Nixon — somebody who went into the wilderness and found himself.”

Well, went into the wilderness, anyway. Remember when Gore got lost in the woods once and the Secret Service had to go get him? Best to leave any wilderness references out of this, boys.

One thing Gore will have to get over quickly is that, judging by speeches in the past few years, it’s pretty apparent that this is one ticked-off man, bitter to the core at … well … all of us.

Hardly surprising though.

For eight years, Gore defended his lying, adulterous boss while watching his wife, Tipper, slap parental warning stickers everywhere except where they belonged – on Bill Clinton’s pants. During those years, Gore observed Clinton’s successful election and re-election, and naturally tried to emulate him politically.

The problem for Gore was that, as it is with watching great athletes and musicians, the Clinton’s make it look so easy that anybody thinks they can do it. In trying to copy the pattern of his former boss in achieving the nation’s highest office, Gore was like a three-fingered shop teacher convinced he can perform the same sleight of hand magic of David Copperfield. In doing so, Gore dropped the cards all over the floor, right next to his marbles.

The root of Gore’s real downhill emotional spiral began at the presidential debate where he wore so much makeup that Tammy Faye Bakker told him to “cool it on the foundation.” Gore looked like he rear-ended a Maybelline truck on his way to the theater that night. The content of the debate was lost amid the comments about Gore’s appearance, which even from his supporters were something along the lines of the mournfully positive fib you hear from the family at a funeral visitation – “Pop looks good, doesn’t he?”

Winning the popular vote and losing the election furthered the fierce combination of rage and depression, prompting Gore to go back to Tennessee and work on getting himself ready to play the role of Mr. French in “A Family Affair on Broadway”.

The sinking feelings of what might have been, combined with going from being a stone’s throw from the presidency to a tiny footnote in the history books, may have gotten the better of Gore, but then he decided to dive back into the political pool – head first, into water three feet deep.

Gore endorsed Howard Dean. The news was huge. This was the boost that would put Dean over the top – and did it ever. Dean was so excited, he let out a scream like an unsuspecting janitor at Lane Bryant who just barged in on Bea Arthur in the changing room.

Gore’s endorsement went to the same place his presidential hopes were dashed – south. It’s been all downhill for him since. Until, perhaps, now.

Gore will differentiate himself from Hillary, who is to the right of Gore on the war, and the Democrat base may once again give him a try, as long as can fend off Kerry and there are enough people who are stupid enough to believe that hurricanes Katrina and Rita were caused by Roger Ailes’ SUV and Laura Bush’s hairspray, the deck may be stacked in Gore’s favor.

Gore, at a recent speech, cracks everybody up with his Nikita Kruschev impression

__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

"The divine Miss M"oron

You have to hand it to liberals, they really know how to pull everybody together in a time of crisis. Maybe the loudest critics through all this, the most desperate sounding demagogues, are those on the left because their risk of drowning is greater due to the fact that they never, ever take the high road.

At a Madison Square Garden concert to raise money for hurricane disaster relief, everybody got caught in the “I” of Hurricane Hollywood once again as the perpetually doofy “Divine Miss M”, Bette Midler, took to the spotlight to prove that the only thing with integrity on the stage was the scaffolding itself.

It started off mildly enough. Not much political ballyhoo. After a while, Tom Waits, who sometimes looks like that thing that William Shatner saw on the wing of the plane in the famous “Twilight Zone” episode, said “I wish New Orleans were dry and Washington, DC was under water.”

Okay, fair enough. I’ve had those days before, too.

Then, Midler, apparently vying for the role of Courtney Love’s less classy mother in “Idiot: The Movie” said:

“I got a letter from the Republican Party the other day. I wrote back, ‘Go fuck yourself.’ … George Bush is a fan of mine — he came to see me in the Seventies. His coke dealer brought him.”

If you’ve heard the tape of Midler speaking, it sort of sounded as if she brought her coke dealer along as well. Bette was coming across as that one sad loudmouth at the bar who thinks that everybody in the world has the right to know exactly how moronic she is.

About the only thing Midler said that was anywhere near the truth was, “We’re surrounded by disaster.” We couldn’t agree more, Bette.

__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“The divine Miss M”oron

You have to hand it to liberals, they really know how to pull everybody together in a time of crisis. Maybe the loudest critics through all this, the most desperate sounding demagogues, are those on the left because their risk of drowning is greater due to the fact that they never, ever take the high road.

At a Madison Square Garden concert to raise money for hurricane disaster relief, everybody got caught in the “I” of Hurricane Hollywood once again as the perpetually doofy “Divine Miss M”, Bette Midler, took to the spotlight to prove that the only thing with integrity on the stage was the scaffolding itself.

It started off mildly enough. Not much political ballyhoo. After a while, Tom Waits, who sometimes looks like that thing that William Shatner saw on the wing of the plane in the famous “Twilight Zone” episode, said “I wish New Orleans were dry and Washington, DC was under water.”

Okay, fair enough. I’ve had those days before, too.

Then, Midler, apparently vying for the role of Courtney Love’s less classy mother in “Idiot: The Movie” said:

“I got a letter from the Republican Party the other day. I wrote back, ‘Go fuck yourself.’ … George Bush is a fan of mine — he came to see me in the Seventies. His coke dealer brought him.”

If you’ve heard the tape of Midler speaking, it sort of sounded as if she brought her coke dealer along as well. Bette was coming across as that one sad loudmouth at the bar who thinks that everybody in the world has the right to know exactly how moronic she is.

About the only thing Midler said that was anywhere near the truth was, “We’re surrounded by disaster.” We couldn’t agree more, Bette.

__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Hinckley's ready to take a shot at hitting the street?

Would-be presidental assassin and uber-geek John Hinckley is now normal and should be granted long furloughs, so say his therapists over at Shaky Acres.

It’s amazing all the guesswork and theorizing that goes in to psychiatry, when there’s one way to find out of Hinckley’s therapists really thing he’s normal. It’s something I’m surprised hasn’t been proposed yet, that I know of.

This should be standard practice for anyone granted early parole or release from a mental institution: The person released must spend the first couple of weeks living in the home of any shrink or judge that granted or recommended their release. If they’re safe enough to mingle with the rest of us schmucks, they’re safe enough to be around them for a while. Right?

We’d quickly find out that, no, some of these people shouldn’t be on the street.

I wonder what Jodie Foster’s take is on this. Ever read Hinckley’s letter to Foster shortly before he went full-blown unhinged? Whoa. If there’s a literary version of the Woody Woodpecker laugh, it’s this letter.
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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Hinckley’s ready to take a shot at hitting the street?

Would-be presidental assassin and uber-geek John Hinckley is now normal and should be granted long furloughs, so say his therapists over at Shaky Acres.

It’s amazing all the guesswork and theorizing that goes in to psychiatry, when there’s one way to find out of Hinckley’s therapists really thing he’s normal. It’s something I’m surprised hasn’t been proposed yet, that I know of.

This should be standard practice for anyone granted early parole or release from a mental institution: The person released must spend the first couple of weeks living in the home of any shrink or judge that granted or recommended their release. If they’re safe enough to mingle with the rest of us schmucks, they’re safe enough to be around them for a while. Right?

We’d quickly find out that, no, some of these people shouldn’t be on the street.

I wonder what Jodie Foster’s take is on this. Ever read Hinckley’s letter to Foster shortly before he went full-blown unhinged? Whoa. If there’s a literary version of the Woody Woodpecker laugh, it’s this letter.
__________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.