Alec Baldwin Eats His Own

Actor/activist Alec Baldwin, life-long Kool-Aid drinker for the Democrats, is enraged at his party for letting Samuel Alito escape through confirmation and on to the Supreme Court.

Baldwin is now furious at the “chicken shit Democrats in the Senate”.

Alec was especially hard on Democrat Zell Miller. “I lothe and despise him on a daily basis”, said Baldwin.

When trying to build and maintain a reputation as the party of compassion, it’s always important to verbally kick an old man.

I’ve been an Alec Baldwin fan for a long time. Not necessarily of his movies, but of his politics. Why? Because people like Alec Baldwin are the Gilligans of Democrat Island.

Over the years, I’ve written much on how Alec Baldwin’s moronic statements – usually meant as jabs at conservatives that only end up making him sound like an escapee from Our Lady of the Botched Lobotomy – actually help forward the conservative agenda.

In an effort to thank him, I established PETAB (People for the Ethical Treatment of Alec Baldwin) in order to encourage people not to verbally bash him, but to commit to letting Alec talk his arguments into the ground. We kept our commitment, and Alec is still letting neurons that misfire like the pistons on a ’71 Buick Skylark do all the talking.

Baldwin’s head is a biological “Area 51” where the crashed UFO’s of discredited left wing tripe are secretly kept and the occasional word will slip out publicly about their existence.

In the past, Alec has “joked” about stoning to death the family of Rep. Henry Hyde, said he’d leave the country if Bush was elected, and called for the new Yankee Stadium to be built where the World Trade Centers once stood (I wish the city would have taken Baldwin’s advice, just so the stadium would be known as “The House that Thorazine Built”), and much more.

Alec subsequently managed to weasel his way out of his “If Bush gets elected I’m leaving the country” statement, which, not coincidentally, immediately sent overseas property values plummeting.

Kim Basinger must have made a similar pledge but got a little mixed up, saying that if Bush got elected she’d leave Alec. At least she had the guts to follow through on her promise.

But I’m not here to ridicule and pick on the man whose synapse fire up less frequently than the Olympic torch. I’m here to thank him. Without the Alec Baldwin’s of the world we’d never know the true feelings of the far left, unfiltered by the political agendas of politicians.

The crafty among the left wing are bright enough to conceal their true motives, but Baldwin just lets it fly unabashedly, like a bank robber who’s not afraid to take off his ski mask and look directly into the security camera. I like that in a person.

Especially now that it’s turned against his fellow Democrats.

Baldwin does a fantastic job when he hosts Saturday Night Live. He’s funny and delivers lines with impeccable comedic timing. Perhaps he’s so good at humor because he gets a lot of practice at it while he’s trying to be serious.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: