British “think tank” concludes people would die in war with Iran, also that taffy is “real sticky”

From the people who brought you such classics as “Spilled coffee may burn”, “Hemorrhoids cause itchy butts”, and “Billy Joel’s car insurance premium could rise”, comes a detailed report entitled “Iran, consequenses of war”.

The “Oxford Research Group” (think lots of Jimmy Carter types, but with worse teeth, driving on the other side of the road, and a vow against appeasing during during tea time) has released a report.

The revealing information is stunning parakeets around the world that may be at this very moment reading the bottom of their bird cages and saying, “Squawwwk… well duh! Squawwwk…”

What would we do without the heavily educated providing us with information such as this:

Thousands of military personnel and hundreds of civilians would be killed if the United States launched an air strike on Iran to prevent it developing nuclear arms.

How many will be killed if Ahmadinejad or one of the many Iranian terrorist groups get their hands on nukes and nobody does anything about it? Maybe that’ll be in the next report, but don’t hold your breath, since that would cost the U.S. and/or Israel their coveted “bad guy” status in think-tanks around the world.

The entire egghead version of “Iran, consequences of war”, complete with hilarious outtakes, is available here.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: