Charlie’s Conspiracy Angels

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily, “Charlie’s Conspiracy Angels“, revolves around actor Charlie Sheen’s recent statements that he wants further investigation into 9/11 because it looks like it could be an inside job.

Actor Charlie Sheen, speaking to a radio station last week, called for more investigation into 9-11 because the World Trade Center buildings look like they “came down in a controlled demolition.” He finds it unlikely that 19 amateurs with box cutters took over four commercial airliners and hit 75 percent of their targets, and questioned whether it was a plane that hit the Pentagon.

OK, Chuck. Fair enough. Bring on another investigation, and another, and another – and keep doing it until it turns out the way you want it to. Then you can go back to your “Two and a Half Men,” I’ll go back to my two sons and a daughter, and we can move on. Deal?

It goes on from there. Check it out and then come back here for the rest of this post.

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with my columns, I usually just set out to have fun. I leave saving the world to the intellectuals who are emailing me wondering why I didn’t write an entire book on why Charlie Sheen is a God for coming out like this.

After putting up some comments about Sheen in a blog post from late last week, I have been written to by dozens of people, most sending links for me to look at. They said “learn more about it and you’ll also think something is up!”

I’d already heard or read about a lot of it, but I checked it out again. A funny thing happened. The more I looked into it the more I was convinced there was no conspiracy. I was beginning to feel immersed in Oliver Stone’s bathwater.

Regular readers of my columns will know that, though, yes, I am a Republican, and therefore support conservatives in Congress and for President, I have a very skeptical view of government as a whole, and believe that third parties need to infiltrate the majors in order to clean things up.

Gigantic bureaucracies are slow and stupid, usually because they’re trying to win a potato sack race with thousands of people in the same bag. With the exception of the U.S. military, who are charged and funded by the slow and stupid with being fast and smart, I don’t think government is capable of pulling off a nearly undetectable huge conspiracy on the level of 9/11.

Let’s consider the CIA for a moment. They would have certainly had to have been in on a 9/11 plot. That organization told the president and congress that they were certain Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. When they weren’t immediately found, if the CIA was so cunning or crooked, why not just plant a small nuke in Iraq to immediately show the world that Saddam had WMD? They didn’t do that even to save face and reputation, but they helped pull off 9/11 for… what reason?

Why has no steel high rise, before or since 9/11, collapsed because of fire? The first question in response is, of those others, before or since, how many were smashed into by nearly fully fueled 767’s? Maybe somebody knows. As for WTC 7’s collapse, who knows. I don’t know what it’s like to be a building very close to two collapsing 110-story buildings, but it can’t be pretty.

So, not being a particular fan of bureaucracies and government as a whole, I’m open to all sorts of theories. Hell, I still think there’s far more to the story of Vince Foster than we know, but none of this 9/11 stuff adds up to anything more than Islamic terrorists with motive and opportunity.

Besides, if you’re George W. Bush, and plotting all this (he’s a frickin’ genius for being such a “dumb” guy), wouldn’t you put yourself in a place where you’re doing something a little more heroic than reading to school kids? He’s bright enough to pull all this off, but so stupid that he doesn’t act surprised or move quick enough for these people? Bush was thick into the ingenious plot but too stupid to plan out his own role?

Admit it… if you were putting this all together, you’d make sure you were in the position to run out of the White House and shoot down an incoming missile with an automatic weapon. Instant hero!

And then there are the people “in the know”. “But Doug, read what General So-And-So said about it.”

So, for the last few days I’ve been told that government and high ranking members of the military must have been in on all this, and then I’m asked to trust one of them? There’s no honor among thieves, folks.There are so many good reasons to be skeptical of the government. I’m not sure this isn’t one of them.

In the mailbag:

A reader writes and says, “sure, and kerosene can melt steel”, and another says “explain to me how gasoline can melt steel.”

I never said the jet fuel did melt the steel. Besides, It doesn’t have to “melt steel”. I encourage everybody to read the Popular Mechanics article. Some obviously don’t want to though– If you’re one who thinks the PM article is BS because somebody there is a relative of Michael Chertoff, then try this one…hopefully not written by an administration relative.

Somebody else wants to know that if my “Mrs. Kravitz Paradox” theory holds water, how must we explain The Manhattan Project? I thought I outlined that I was referring to conspiracies, and I don’t consider The Manhattan Project a conspiracy, though it’s not a stretch to assume that some would. If I didn’t make that point clear enough, my bad.

Tom writes:

So what is YOUR theory how that THIRD tower came down, never hit by a
plane, hours and several hundred feet from the twin towers ?

Good question, and thanks for asking, but I have no idea. I don’t pretend to know one way or the other, like some of the people I’m hearing from. Although I must say the chances it sustained some sort of tower crash/collapse damage we’re either aware or unaware of that brought it down are far greater than these big, winding sinister plots that I’m reading about.

Darryl says:

The Popular Mechanics article only addresses their own made up conspiracy theory:

And it isn’t exactly unbiased:

When searching and reading stuff about this topic, I found the PM piece, then I found sites debunking that, then I found sites debunking the debunkers of the PM piece… on and on it goes. Where does it end? For me, with plausibility.

Richard says:

Your “fine with another investigation”, huh?  That’s great to hear, Doug.  Such passion for the truth is what continues to make this country great.

An international commitee would be just dandy.

It’s tough to be passionate about a truth I don’t think exists. I could be “passionate” about proving 2 plus 2 equals 5 as well, but passion doesn’t equal sanity or reason.

International committee? Yeah, they’d be unbiased.

Plus, I think that what really makes this country great is not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

Yet another letter:

How could the buildings have collapsed straight down in their own footprint?

I’m no scientist, but I believe it’s called “gravity”. If the base wasn’t stressed and “pushing” the collapse in another direction (like when a tree is chopped down… oops, apologies to Al Gore), where else was the top portion going to fall? 

Pat disagrees with most of the dozens who have written so far:

I guess the GOP also killed one of their operatives, Barbara Olson, just to make it look good. (Or is she still in hiding?) And of course because the president didn’t jump up and leave the classroom when Andy Card whispered in his ear, that meant he knew everything beforehand. Charlie Sheen isn’t the first nutcase. This same thing gets brought up on C-SPAN several times a week. They all point to a website for the proof that the government did it.

My personal favorite so far, is Art, who signed his letter “Irate Citizen”, wrote, called me “Meathead, said that I “suck”, and was a “dumb critic”. The reason Art wrote? To chastise me for all the ad hominem attacks in my column. Good one, Art.

From the “Fair and Balanced” department, I include this one. Here’s a letter written by Charlie Sheen to the media challenging them to “find the truth”. Thanks to Beau for sending this along.

One final thing for all the people who are buying 100% that the U.S. government (or some shadow entity thereof) planned and carried out the 9/11 events. Why is Zacarias Moussaoui on trial? Why isn’t his defense “I had nothing to do with anything”? If this information implicating the government is so iron-clad, I’m sure a good defense attorney could use it to help his client.

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: