The Final Front Tear: Fake Boobs Won't Fly In Space

First Hooters Airlines goes out of business and now this?

Virgin Galactic, a private firm that will soon offer space tourism for customers who can afford it, said that women with breast implants won’t be able to go. The implants, due to pressure changes associated with space flight, could cause the faux jigglies to expand either tear or blow up.

Of the 157 people who have paid Virgin Galactic $200,000 for a brief space flight in 2008, those with breast implants may find themselves flat out of luck.

Company spokesman Will Whitehorn told The Sun safety concerns have come to light for those who want to be launched in groups of eight to an altitude of more than 60 miles for 7 minutes of weightlessness.

“We’ve discovered there may well be issues with breast augmentation,” he said. “We’re not sure whether they could stand the trip — they could well explode.”

In two words: Sorry, Demi.

When will the space flights take place? Here’s a little info from Virgin Galactic:

The first flights are planned to begin in 2008. We are now starting to take reservations and deposit commitments for the first year of operations. The ticket price has been set at US$200,000 and the minimum, fully refundable deposit to secure your spaceship seat is US$20,000.

You can fill out your own astronaut application form here.

These trips are getting a little more affordable, though. In 2002 Lance Bass of ‘NSinc was trying to pay the Russian government $20 million for a flight on a Soyuz spacecract.

The trip was delayed due to paperwork snags between the two countries caused by a lack of computer compatibility. The reason for the incompatibility was clear– Americans use windows-based operating systems, and the Russians didn’t have any computers.

Then the trip was canceled. It turns out the “paper” in “paperwork” was the green kind, because Bass couldn’t afford the $20 million. That last CD must not have sold as well as he’d hoped.

Now, however, these trips are much more affordable to those who aren’t super-wealthy, but still have a couple hundred grand sitting around. For some women, the trick will be to find somebody who has that amount of money who didn’t spend it on a boob job.

I guess that’s a good rule. No need for added sexual tension up there. They didn’t want their first public flight to take off as “Virgin Galactic” and return as simply “Galactic”.


On a completely separate subject…Would you date a Democrat?

Sunday’s New York Times will run the following poll: “Would you date a Republican?” So, I thought it only fair to take the opposite poll, “Would you date a Democrat?” There are seven possible answers. Take the **poll here.

(**margin of error of plus or minus four liberals)


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: