John Edwards' 3-Point Plan to End Poverty: 1) Slip 2) Fall 3) Call 1-800-NextPrez

We all knew that former John Kerry running mate and N. Carolina Senator John Edwards’ first place finish in a recent Iowa poll concerning favorites for the Democrats presidential nomination would provide him with vigor. Given that edge, Edwards is now doing what every presidential candidate claims to be able to do: get rid of poverty.

Fresh from his first-place showing among possible presidential contenders in a poll of Iowa Democrats, former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., spoke Thursday to a roomful of pundits and national reporters, road-testing the big themes he hopes to ride into the White House in 2008.

His biggest: Eliminate poverty in the United States by 2036.

Yes, the words and music haven’t changed since 2004. “Class envy” is still the main course at John Edwards’ dinner table, where we all get botulism.

Edwards’ “war on poverty” won’t involve lower taxes and enterprise zones to create more inner city jobs, but it will simply be more of the “take yours and give it to them” transfer of wealth that only ever seems to enrich politicians. Either that or he’ll simply recommend all poor people simultaneously go to an upscale community, slip and fall on residents patio steps, and call 1-800-NextPrez to get the money they’re due for pain and suffering.

The “class warfare” stuff from Edwards will soon get worse. Maybe even worse than when he was John Kerry’s running mate and split Americans with greater skill than Enrico Fermi over an atom.

Since early in the 2004 presidential campaign, when John Edwards was still in the running for his party’s nomination, he’s delivered his infamous “two Americas” speech, and this will be embellished in coming months and couple of years as the presidential race heats up. In Edwards’ stock talk in ’04, he spoke of there being one America that has all the cool stuff, and another America that gets the shaft. On the campaign trail as the vice presidential nominee, Edwards used the “divide and conquer” mantra, attempting to part America as skillfully and evenly as his hair.

Are there really “two Americas”? For John Edwards, there most certainly were and are. There is one America without health insurance, and another America that has made a fortune driving insurance costs so high that the astronauts on the orbiting International Space Station may have to be sent out to retrieve the operating budgets of insurance companies and health-care providers.

“Two Americas” is a lie of, well,  John Edwards proportions. If anything, there are 290 million Americas – one for each of us. That’s what’s great about the United States. Success, failure, mediocrity – it’s all up to the individual, not lawyers who are running for president again like Edwards and Kerry, whose only successful economic recovery plans have been “sue money” and “marry money.”


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: