Holy Jihad Brigades Prove They’re Also “Fair and Balanced,” Release Fox News Reporters

Good news: Fox News reporter Steve Centanni and cameraman Olaf Wiig have been released from captivity after being held by a group calling itself the “Holy Jihad Brigades.”

The “Holy Jihad Brigades” is a previously unknown group, but just the latest in a long line of terror organizations whose names sound like they were pulled straight from a “Superfriends” cartoon. Someday, one of these groups will unwittingly call themselves “The Legion of Doom” and the world can finally laugh in unison.

More on the reporter and cameraman’s release from the Sydney Morning Herald:

They hugged colleagues inside the hotel lobby before running up the stairs to a higher floor, Fox News footage showed.

“Our heroes are home,” Fox anchorman Shepard Smith said in a live broadcast from New York.

In order to get released, the two appeared on camera to declare that they had converted to Islam:

In a videotape released earlier, Centanni and Wiig were shown separately sitting cross-legged, reading statements announcing that they had converted to Islam. At times in the video they were wearing long Muslim robes.

“I changed my name to Khaled. I have embraced Islam and say the word Allah,” Centanni said.

This probably means that the pair won’t be able to get a plane ticket home and are now on a terror watch list somewhere, but still, this is good news.

One last thing, let’s lay off any criticism of these guys for converting to Islam to appease their captors. We all know that if we were in a similar situation, if we knew it made our captors less likely to want to detach our heads, we’d not only convert to Islam, but we’d offer to Scotch-Gard their prayer rugs for them, call America “the great Satan,” hurl insults at the Osmonds, babysit their terrorist friends’ kids and take their belt-bombs to the dry cleaners for them (medium starch) if it meant getting released unharmed.

Welcome back, guys.


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.