Sir Edmund Hillary Clinton Reaches the Summit of Mt. Pitiful

It’s not Hillary’s fault that she tells lies — it’s her parents. At least, that’s what Hillary Clinton wants you to believe.

You have to hand it to the Clintons — when they’re caught lying they can spin it into a nice story about their childhood. How sweet, in a pathologically deceptive kind of way.

For years, Hillary Clinton was going around claiming that she was named after the first person to reach the summit of Mt. Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary. This has been reported as “fact” as late as a week ago in the New York Times. It didn’t take long for somebody to notice that the numbers didn’t add up, and that was years ago. After being reminded of the lie, yet again, Hillary has recanted the claim via a sweet story of family history with this explanation:

For more than a decade, Sen. Clinton’s informal biography repeated the story, and it was recounted in former President Bill Clinton’s 2004 autobiography, “My Life.”

The problem with the tale, however, is one of timing. Sir Edmund and his Sherpa guide, Tenzing Norgay, became known to the world only in 1953, after becoming the first men to reach Everest’s summit. Sen. Clinton was born in 1947.

What’s the explanation? You can almost smell the apple pie cooling on the window sill of the asylum as Hillary’s spokeswoman explains:

“It was a sweet family story her mother shared to inspire greatness in her daughter, to great results I might add.”

Good Lord, even her parents were liars. Nah, what’s even more pathetic is that Hillary gets caught doing what she does best and then blames her parents for lying to her. She’ll stop at nothing. If this explanation doesn’t work it’ll be the Pope’s fault, then Bullwinkle, then the boogie man, then brother Hugh.

One must wonder why the esteemed Senator and oft described “smartest woman in the world” didn’t bother to do the math of the Sir Edmund Hillary vs. her name until… yesterday? But that’s the whole modus operandi of the Clintons. Lie, lie lie, and when caught, spin, spin, spin, and keep spinning until you’re mistaken for a merry-go-round.

You can spot a pathological liar easily, because they’re the ones who lie about things that don’t really even matter. Why did Hillary choose to lie about being named after a mountain climber? Did this gain her any votes? Is there an enormous mountain-climber voter bloc she was wooing? Doubtful. No, it’s just the way she is. Asking why the Clintons lie is like asking why a dog licks his balls.

The Clintons shine as “team pathological liar.” Who says they never do anything together? When we hear Hillary say (or, more accurately put, her spokeswoman per her instructions) with a straight face and unapologetically no less, that lies can “inspire greatness,” the terminal level of the illness becomes apparent. The cattle futures profits, the stolen White House china, the missing FBI files, crooked land dealings, all of it, is done to “inspire greatness.” If we all strove for such greatness, there wouldn’t be enough prisons to hold us.

Criminals in the United States may have a new plea option here. One that claims their crime was caused by bogus information given them by their parents to “inspire greatness” — which ended up inspiring robbing a bank or cheating on taxes to attain said greatness: The Hillary Defense. So named, of course, after Sir Edmund Hillary.

“What else did mother tell you, Hillary?”


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: