Leave it to Cleavage: Candidate for Alabama Governor Campaigns on Boobs

It’s “Governor’s Mansion or bust” for one political candidate from the Yellowhammer State.

Every now and again I like to highlight some political candidates who deserve more exposure simply based on their interesting efforts at gaining press. These candidates are most often from the Libertarian Party. As a former Libertarian, I like to keep track of what the party is up to, other than not gaining any national political ground.

Last spring, in a brief piece I wrote called “The bong and winding road,” we met Chief Wana Dubie, and this time around we’re being introduced to a fellow Libertarian and bosom buddy.

Today, meet Loretta Nall, a Libertarian write-in candidate for governor from Alabama who has a campaign platform that is as titillating as they come — I mean, get.

What makes Loretta special? For starters, she’s campaigning on her cleavage — something that Ted Kennedy once tried, with grim results.

The A.P. briefly explains:

Her campaign is offering T-shirts and marijuana stash boxes adorned with a photo of her with a plunging neckline and the words: “More of these boobs.” Below that are pictures of other candidates for governor — including Republican incumbent Bob Riley and Democratic Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley _ and the words: “And less of these boobs.”

The campaign poster looks like this:

Here’s Nall’s official campaign website, where you can learn other tidbits such as her stand on border security, why she doesn’t wear panties, why “not being in jail is cool,” and how much dope you have to smoke before Pauly Shore is funny (it’s a trick question: there isn’t enough on the planet).

The possibilities for additional campaign slogans are endless…

“Alabama’s cups runneth over”

“For a hands-on governor, not just another titular head”

“Tippecanoe and titties too”

“Are you better off than you were two boobs ago?”

“Trick or teat”

“Thanks for the mammaries”

“Give me a trampoline and a push-up bra, or give me death”

“Turn the udder cheek”

Good luck, Ms. Nall. You’re right — we’ve had enough figurative boobs in government, and it’s time for the real thing, dammit!


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.