Chicago Olympics: Trans-Fat Sprint & Bureaucratic Regs High-Jump

Chicago is the United States’ pick to be among the world’s finalists to host the 2016 Olympic Games.

The city did such a good job of hosting Gay Games VII that they figured they were ready for prime-time.

Los Angeles was in the running, but was ruled out of contention after the state of California tried to make the Olympic Committee replace the Olympic Torch with a compact fluorescent light bulb on the end of a stick holding a “Free Leonard Peltier” placard.

It won’t be much easier in Chicago, where all the sprinters will be running from trans-fats, foie gras and booze billboards, and the high jump will consist of athletes trying to propel themselves over a stack of inane city regulations. The “hop, skip & ban Wal-Mart” should be interesting as well.

So, Chicago, with a little luck, as well as the IOC agreeing to Windy City and Al Gore demands that they purchase carbon credits to offset the emissions from the torch flame, will be home to the 2016 Olympics. Good luck Chicago!

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: