Hairline Fractures: John Edwards Cracks Up Wife Elizabeth

“Kama Sutra manual? Check. Bain de Soleil? Check. Astroglide? Check. Sledge hammer? Ch… what?

The story behind how Elizabeth Edwards discovered her cancer revolved around it being found after seeking medical treatment for a broken rib after an apparent overzealous hug from her husband, but now John Edwards is cranking up the machismo machine, and hinting that her rib broke during a more intimate moment.

No, Elizabeth wasn’t riding shotgun during an ambulance chase gone awry — John was, uh, well let’s just say he was doing to her what his policies would do to the country if he’s elected president.

Mr. Edwards, if you’re breaking her ribs, you’re doing it wrong. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Many politicians try to get the macho thing going on. Often the results can be somewhat embarrassing:


As for Edwards, I doubt that virtually admitting to sexual spousal abuse will fly with the feminist voters, but it might be worth a try. After all, Hillary’s people are angry about any hint of sexuality in their campaign, so somebody’s got to pick up the slack.

Okay, Mr. Edwards. Thanks to the Esquire interview, you’ve moved up a notch on the manhood scale. Now hurry along or you’ll be late for your appointment at Pink Sapphire.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: