If You're in Central Russia Today, Plug Your Ears and Close Your Eyes

“What do Russians get if they conceive a child today and it’s born on June 12th next year?”


“A new carrrrr!”

If anybody wants to attack Russia, today’s the day to catch ’em off guard:

Ulyanovsk Gov. Sergei Morozov has decreed Sept. 12 a Day of Conception and is giving couples time off from work to procreate. Couples who give birth nine months later on Russia’s national day — June 12 — will receive money, cars, refrigerators and other prizes.

It’s the third year that the Volga River region, about 550 miles east of Moscow, has held the contest. Since then, the number of competitors — and the number of babies born — has been on the rise.

Women giving birth on June 12th will get any number of fabulous prizes, and women giving birth on June 11th will be called all sorts of nasty names by their husbands.

Now, if you don’t mind, close the blinds because Boris and Natasha have some work to do.


Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.