Pumpkin-Headed Taxes

nullToday’s “Stupid tax du jour” is brought to you by the Iowa Department in Oversight of Taxes (IDIOT), better known as the Iowa Department of Revenue.

The state is now taxing pumpkins — unless a form is filled out by the consumer and submitted to the government by the pumpkin seller stating that the pumpkin will be used for food purposes — with one copy placed in IDIOT’s “in” box, three in their “out,” and two in the file marked “Inane.”

Due to the “if used for food it’s tax-free” provision, the number of pumpkin pies in Iowa is expected to triple this season — as is the consumption of automobile sandwiches, inheritence soup and propane-sicles.

How’s small business reacting to the pumpkin tax?

“I don’t mind paying taxes, but let’s get real here, people,” said Bob Kautz, owner of the Buffalo Pumpkin Patch in Buffalo, about eight miles west of Davenport.

Kautz, who has owned his farm for seven years, was particularly dismayed with the notion of requiring customers to fill out a form verifying that they planned to eat the pumpkins they were buying.

“It’s another crazy, crazy, stupid thing,” he said.

Kautz said he will estimate how many pumpkins were bought for non-food purposes, and then will send the tax on that amount to the revenue department.

“It gets unfeasible for people to have small businesses,” he said.

Danny Carroll, who owns Carroll’s Pumpkin Farm in Grinnell with his wife, said he will have to pay the sales tax out of profits.

“Essentially, they just reduced our income by 6 percent,” he said. “It’s too bad, but it’s not surprising.”

As that great American economist Bill Clinton would advise, “Just raise your price!”

If we continue to create our tax schemes around the ideas of liberal economists in government, there will be plenty of jobs — as long as you want to be a liberal economist in government, red tape manufacturer, or chicken broth ladeler in the unemployment line.


Jeremie informs us that the pumpkin tax has been repealed. Don’t celebrate yet though, because I’m sure a replacement is in the works. (Psst, Governor Culver, it’s almost mistletoe season… nudge nudge…)

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.