Monday’s Column: The Windfall Profiteers

Today’s column at WorldNetDailyis a brief study in government idiocy, beginning with a renewed call for windfall prophets and ending with bogus economic stimulus and slimy members of Congress.

“Probably the most frightening thing about the U.S. government is that, when the wheels come entirely off, you know that means the ride is just beginning.”

Read the rest in “The windfall profiteers.”

You can give it a Digg here.

Equal Time on the Pastoral Landscape

Put Obama’s pastor off to the side for a moment, because Frank Rich has a piece in the New York Times about John McCain’s pastor, televangelist John Hagee, who apparently blames anti-Jewish behavior throughout history on the Roman church (check out Hagee’s picture of “the Great Whore” in this videomeeowww).

Is this election going to be entirely about whose clergy is the biggest over-the-top dickweed? So far it seems to be. So much for the separation of church and state that so many people love to pretend to adhere to.

Free Cars in the House!

To a member of the House of Representatives, a few hundred taxpayer dollars a month is absolutely nothing, and in the big picture of how much they waste, they’re right. But here’s something that helps us understand how the government manages to stay so incredibly out of touch with reality.

From WCBS:

You may not realize it, but members of the House of Representatives can lease a car and have it paid for by you — the taxpayer. And it’s not just the car, but gas, registration, insurance … the works.

And as CBS 2 found out, there’s no limit on how much they can spend.

The examples are many. For example, you and I pay for Congressman Gregory Meeks’ Lexus to the tune of almost a cool grand a month.

And here’s your jaw-dropping laugh of the day: Watch the video in all its glory as Congressman Charles Rangel actually tells a reporter that he spends $777 taxpayer dollars a month for his Cadillac DeVille because driving a cheaper car would be a sign of disrespect to his constituents. Wow. That takes balls the size of… well, Charles Rangel’s balls.

Not nearly all members of the House participate in the freebie car program — just the ones who don’t want to disrespect the taxpayers. They’re going to respect us until we’re in a bread line.

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“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me”

Washington DC Eliminates Gang Violence

How exactly did Washington DC eliminate gang violence, you ask? Well, DC officials have simply stopped using the word “gang” and replaced it with a cuter word:

D.C. officials insist on describing groups of young males as “crews,” rather than gangs, even when they are held responsible for violent acts such as the wave of killings in the city last weekend.

Problem solved. But “crew-banger” doesn’t come across much better — makes ’em sound like Sha-Na-Na groupies.

With that bit of effective logic out of the way, the next order of business is to change the term “DC officials” to the far more accurate “idiots.”

The Rapture, False Prediction Number 435,834

WorldNetDaily, whose excellent taste in opinion columnists (ahem) is occasionally undermined by their affinity for giving serious exposure to every “end of the world” crackpot and Second Coming DVD peddler around the globe, has found another publicity-seeking hack:

A minister who promotes the Old Testament roots of Christianity suggests a rare string of lunar and solar eclipses said to fall on God’s annual holy days seven years from now could herald what’s come to be known as the “Second Coming” of Jesus.

The year will be 2015. We’ll be sitting around, minding our own business, and… nothing will happen.

In addition to the aforementioned Reverend Eclipse, successful author Tim LaHaye is also convinced Jesus will return in our lifetime.

Many in the generation preceding Mr. LaHaye thought so, too. Why? Because it’s right to think so, in a sense. The Bible tells us Jesus will return, just not exactly when. If Jesus hasn’t returned with each passing generation, succeeding generations do indeed have more and more reason to believe it will happen during their generation. The anticipatory pressure is just too much for some of us to bear, and we seem to think that if we just say it often enough, it will happen.

I’m betting that Mr. LaHaye, in spite of being encouraged by the belief that Jesus will return very soon, is still exercising cautious pessimism by staying busy working on another novel or two. We see evangelists on television every day providing doomsday-oriented head-first dives into Revelation who think the end of the world is so near that your next breath could be your last. At the same time, the end is never so near as to assume that you won’t have time to order and watch a DVD about Armageddon, or see next week’s program, which is promoted with reckless abandon.

The history of the world, specifically as it involves human beings, has seen vastly different cultures with varying levels of social, economic and technological abilities, or lack thereof. All these generations, regardless of enormous differences, had one similarity: Each contained countless people who thought the world was going to end in their lifetimes.

That’s millions and millions, if not billions of people. They were all wrong. All of them. That’s a track record that’s even worse than modern-day congressional Democrats.

The people who still believe all these “predictions” are the same people who are positive that Adam Sandler will soon release a convincing Shakespearian film, and that Amelia Earhart will glide in for a smooth landing any second now.

Constant doomsday talk does little to help the real problems we face. Sure, I wish Jesus could return and make it all better — end the wars, defeat poverty, obliterate starvation and racism, and permanently cancel all the lousy sitcoms — but insisting He is coming, and soon, conveys to people that we should do nothing to fix whatever situation in which we find ourselves, because it will soon be fixed for us.

This mindset is nothing more than an ecclesiastical dependency culture, and I don’t think Jesus is just all right with that.

Obama Utilizing Jedi Mind Trick

We don’t care about it anymore. That’s what the Obamas say. About what do we no longer care? We stopped caring so long ago that we probably forgot what we used to care about. Maybe the Obamas can remind us:

Democrat Barack Obama and his wife said Thursday the public is tired of hearing about incendiary remarks by their former pastor, as they sought to put the controversy that has rocked his presidential campaign to rest.

“We hear time and time again voters are tired of this,” Michelle Obama said in an interview the couple gave to NBC’s “Today” show.

Oh yeah, that’s what it was about. I’d forgotten about it because it was such a non-issue.

A several point swing in the polls away from Obama since Jeremiah Wright’s press conference a few days ago is an indication that people are tired of the story of Obama’s pastor — at least that’s what you tell yourself if you’re the Obamas, while hoping that others believe it.

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“This isn’t the anti-American reverend you’re looking for…”

People Magazine’s Hard Hitting Hillary Interview

You know, I rarely agree with Bill Maher, but he nailed it when he said, “Something’s backwards when we vote for president based on trivial appearances and for Miss America based on the issues.”

People Magazine did their part to contribute to that semi-truth with a nice and fluffy interview with Hillary Clinton.

The hard-hitting and relavent questions will come in their next interview, when they ask her who the sexiest man in 2008 should be (fingers crossed for Gorby!).

Hillary’s fantasy date, alive or dead? Abraham Lincoln. If Abe was married to Hillary he might have enjoyed the ending of “Our American Cousin” a lot more than he did.

Here’s a great question too: “If your husband gave you a pass for one night and you could go on a date with any celeb, alive or dead, who would it be?” Hillary wimped out and answered “Abraham Lincoln” again. I heard that Melissa Etheridge is angry.

Beer or wine? Hillary said “both.” You can tell she’s in Indiana, can’t you? I’m surprised she didn’t answer, “depends on if I’m bowling or mowing the lawn.”

Hillary even took the opportunity to woo the votes of women in polygamist marriages:

“Many of these women were raised in the sect, isolated from the outside world from birth,” Clinton told People. “It takes an enormous amount of independent thinking to lift yourself out of the circumstance you’ve been born and raised in to say, ‘Wait a minute, this isn’t right.'”

Yeah, you have to be a strong, independent wife, or else you’ll end up with a husband who has sex with lots of other wom… nevermind.