‘John Kerry Reporting for Booty!’

Looks like Senator John Kerry is picking up the party slack while Teddy’s on the D.L.

According to TMZ, John Kerry left a Nantucket restaurant and a group of **drunken college kids (**today’s redundancy brought to you by Oxi Clean, the stain specialist!) on a boat asked the senator to take some pictures with them.

At least that’s what he told Teresa.


One of the girls was so honored to meet a U.S. Senator that she broke out the crazy eyes and penis straw for the occasion (the latter being a gift from Bubba the last time he was on the island, but she sold the dog-eared copy of Leaves of Grass to the student book store for beer money), and another was so overcome by Kerry’s powerful presence that she nearly fainted:


But of course, Kerry’s visit wouldn’t have been complete without a lesson in American history for the kids:


“We used to drink Bud Light when I served in Vietnam. Did I mention that I served in Vietnam?”

Note: In case Photobucket gets overwhelmed, the partyin’ Kerry photo gallery can be viewed here.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.