We’ve all heard the term “moonbat.” It’s used by right-wingers to describe far-left kooks.
But “moonbat” is the new “Yankee,” according to some Boston-area moonbats, pointing out that the term “Yankee” was once a disparaging term for colonists that eventually the colonists took pride in. The moonbats in question have even created the t-shirt logo seen at the left.
Is being a “moonbat” something to be proud of? Sure, if you’re a moonbat. But what is a moonbat?
Moonbats are people who believe that radical atheism isn’t a religion. Moonbats are people who think a society that only allows crooks to have guns is a safer society. Moonbats think that “global warming” is a moral issue, but killing babies is a “deeply personal choice.”
Moonbats think that Bush is retarded but yet was genius enough to plot out every detail of 9/11 so he could attack Iraq, but then was dumb enough again to make any of his fake hijackers Iraqis. Moonbats think that heat can’t melt steel. Moonbats have never heard of “smelting.”
Moonbats are people who will burn thousands of gallons of jet fuel to fly to an emergency environmental summit meeting on excessive exhaust fumes. Moonbats are people who believe that the survival of the California Redwood has something to do with Woody Harrelson chaining himself to the Golden Gate Bridge.
Moonbats — those who decry violence in all of its forms, and yet are fully prepared to go on a hunger strike if the government doesn’t release terrorists from Gitmo. Moonbats — people who pay non-union labor to picket Walmart for their failure to unionize.
Moonbats — the terminal campus-dwelling know-betters with THC-clogged neurotransmitters who actually think Phil Donahue is kept off the air because of an organized conspiracy. Moonbats — those leftists who sacrificed the better part of their lives just to get the FDA to have nutritional information put on the wrapper of a Snickers bar, and are positive that the real reason the dinosaurs became extinct was trans-fats.
Moonbats — those who would assume that extraterrestrials that traversed billions of light years to visit earth came from highly intelligent and advanced civilizations but the United States spending money on space exploration is the sign of ignorance and out-of-whack priorities because the money could be better spent on social programs.
Moonbats — those who believe that Fox News shouldn’t be on the air because it clouds the superior objectivity of PBS, CNN, CBS, NBC and ABC. Moonbats — 38-year-olds college lifers living in their parents basements who have never had a real job who think that Exxon doesn’t pay enough income tax. Those people.
Anyway, now that moonbats are taking personal pride in being called moonbats, it’s time to coin another term that conveys the proper loopiness. What should it be?