How Many Polacks Does it Take to Install a Missile Defense Shield?

**Disclaimer** I feel it’s okay for me to use the above title that may be considered offensive by some for two reasons. 1) My wife is of Polish descent, and 2) She doesn’t read this blog very much.

Anyway, here’s a deal that’s chapping some Russkie rumps:

Poland and the United States have signed a preliminary deal to place part of a U.S. ballistic missile defense system in Poland, a plan that has drawn sharp objections from Russia.

Yeah, how’s Russia supposed to attack other countries in the area if we keep screwing it up for them?

But of course, there’s something in it for Poland:

The United States has also agreed to help Poland modernize its military, which it requested as a condition of its support for housing the missile defense system.

This modernization for the Polish military will include removing the screen doors from their submarines, training their firing squads to stop standing in a circle, updating their shipbuilding technology so the best way to sink their boats isn’t to simply put them in water, and giving tanks to the Polish army so they no longer have to fight on horseback — as defending a nation from a carousel has proven ineffective.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: