Double Murderer’s ‘Double Cheeseburger Defense’ Fails

The convicted animal who killed two University of Akron students in 1986, and subsequently argued that the lethal injection he was sentenced to would be inhumane because of his obesity problem, has downed his last bag of pork rinds.

The state of Ohio responded to the appeal of Richard Cooey by saying “don’t think so, fat ass.” So Cooey was given a seat-belt extender and loaded into the one-way express cart to hell this morning.

Who says there’s no good news anymore?


According to an Ohio judge, failing to execute Cooey (pictured above eyeballing a Wendy’s Baconator) because of his obesity problem would have discriminated against the thinner residents of death row

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: