Time Magazine has their “10 most outrageous earmarks of 2008” list. Here they are… click the link for details and plug your nose:
1. $2 Million for Children’s Wooden Arrow Makers
Spending our money straightens the wood of many members of Congress, so it’s nice to know they return the favor once in a while.
2. $1.9 million for the Charles B. Rangel Center for Public Service
Built with our tax dollars, courtesy of our humble servants. Their giving nature knows no bounds, does it?
3. $1 Million for New York Woodstock Museum
Because creating realistic looking wax hippies covered in their own feces ain’t cheap, pal.
4. $192 Million for U.S. Territories’ Rum Industries
I’m cool with this one — any tribute to what helped build the Kennedy dynasty is fine with me.
5. $188,000 for the Lobster Institute at the University of Maine
The full amount of the earmark was for $500,000, but Congress, at the prodding of Chris Dodd, decided that the remaining $312,000 should go toward the constructions of the “Crabs Institute” at a nearby DC Brothel.
6. $98,000 to Develop a Walking Tour of Boydton, Virginia
Add another $500,000 to the pile when the whole thing has to be torn apart and reconstructed after it’s discovered that the “walking tour” isn’t handicapped accessible.
7. $50,000 for the National Mule and Packers Museum in Bishop, California
Better known as “The House that Asses Built.”
8. $583,000 for the Montana World Trade Center
When you think “world trade,” you think “Montana.” It’s about time they were recognized for that. The toughest thing about working in the Montana World Trade Center is being stuck in an elevator with all those cows.
9. $460,752 for Beer Ingredient
This money was for “Hops” production, but I heard that Barney Frank only voted for it because he was told Hops was a new musical about gay bunnies.
Seems to me that somebody left out the $700 billion bailout. It’s not technically an “earmark,” but you can’t get big earmarks without first creating gigantic ears.