If Entertainers Willingly Do It For Ratings Stunts, Is It Torture?

Christopher Hitchens was waterboarded last year and concluded that the interrogation procedure is torture (possibly because the water didn’t have any Scotch in it — the horror).

Not long ago, Sean Hannity offered to be waterboarded for charity. This prompted some on the left — who say that waterboarding should never, ever be used on any human being whatsoever because it goes against every principle we as Americans hold dear — to gladly step up and offer to waterboard Sean Hannity. Keith Olbermann offered $1,000 for every second Hannity was waterboarded. I offered $2,000 for every second Hannity could stand to listen to Keith Olbermann. Both offers remain in limbo.

Then, just this week, radio host “Mancow” Muller was waterboarded and he concluded it was torture. Muller claims he went into it with the intention of saying it wasn’t torture, but changed his mind two seconds into waterfall that kept him from running his mouth for a record six seconds — one man’s torture is music to another’s ears.

The question as it pertains to willingly subjecting one’s self to waterboarding isn’t “is it torture?” It’s, “is demanding that you shouldn’t consider its use unless you could undergo it yourself and claim it isn’t torture a good idea?” This is like saying that I shouldn’t be for life sentences for convicted murderers unless I’m willing to prove it ain’t so bad by willingly spending the rest of my life in prison.

If making something illegal just because I might consider it torture is the issue, then “Fear Factor” would have been cancelled halfway through the very first episode and Yoko Ono’s larynx would be rotting in a jail cell.

The relevant question as it pertains to waterboarding is “did it prevent attacks on people who loathe the idea of waterboarding terror suspects?” The answer, according to the CIA, is “yes.” This now makes us ask the question: Is “irony-boarding” torture?

If any pollsters want to make liberal heads asplode, then go to Los Angeles and ask the following question: “Would you rather die in a terrorist attack, or have your life, and most importatly, film career, saved because of waterboarding?”

Below is “Mancow” Muller doing something that, if there was beer instead of water in that pitcher, happens every weekend at frat parties:

Update: I cross-posted this at HotAir, and one of the comments there is interesting and sums up the joke that these waterboard wannabes are:

It’s a wonder he wasn’t injured…

The “procedure” demonstrated is not the waterboarding procedure used on the three AQ subjects, and is not in the least as it is done in SERE training.

This is what has really screwed up the entire “debate” on waterboarding.

Yes, Mancow thought he was drowning…pouring water directly into the mouth and nose of a subject is not how waterboarding is done…the method shown is an attempt to drown a subject.

Amateurs. And dumb, too.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.