Semi-Satire of the Day: Specter/Sebelius Op-Ed

So real it might not be fake. From Iowahawk:

Crisis of Confidence: America’s Government Losing Faith in Out-of-Touch Constituents

Guest Opinion
By Senator Arlen Specter (D-PA)
and Kathleen Sebelius, U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services

Over two hundred years ago, America’s founding fathers established a constitutional republic based on the audacious notion that the interests of its citizens would be best served by a wise body of their democratically-elected representatives. In the two centuries that have since transpired, that bold experiment has largely been a success. But we should also realize our system only works when the interests of voters and their government are in harmony. Unfortunately, recent evidence suggests that America’s hard-working hometown legislators are feeling the pinch from a fickle and increasingly out-of-touch voter class who no longer serves our needs.

The rest is here. Damn that’s funny, but all too close to the mark.

One thing’s for sure — fewer and fewer politicians will be holding townhall meetings with us out-of-touch kooks in coming months.

Stimulus Dollars at Work (But Mostly Play)

I just can’t believe the economy isn’t chugging along like crazy yet with great “investments” like this:

The National Endowment for the Arts may be spending some of the money it received from the Recovery and Reinvestment Act to fund nude simulated-sex dances, Saturday night “pervert” revues and the airing of pornographic horror films at art houses in San Francisco.

The NEA was given $80 million of the government’s $787 billion economic stimulus bill to spread around to needy artists nationwide, and most of the money is being spent to help preserve jobs in museums, orchestras, theaters and dance troupes that have been hit hard by the recession.
[…]
But some of the NEA’s grants are spicing up more than the economy. A few of their more risque choices have some taxpayer advocates hot under the collar, including a $50,000 infusion for the Frameline film house, which recently screened Thundercrack, “the world’s only underground kinky art porno horror film, complete with four men, three women and a gorilla.”

Here’s just one of the important jobs we, and future generations, are funding:

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“Emergency funding”? Was the guy in grave danger of not being able to complete his somersault, or do they need money to finish making a bike rack out of him?

Remember, the next time you’re in San Francisco’s Castro District and you see the following “Re-investment and Recovery Act” sign outside your favorite art house, it means your tax dollars are hard at work inside. Be proud, America!

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Brings a whole new meaning to “shovel ready,” eh?

Announcing the 2009 Homeless World Cup

If you plan to attend, make your reservations now — rooms aren’t going fast.

The best thing about this as far as the organizers are concerned is the travel savings — when the Games are over, they can just drop the athletes off anywhere.

The big incentive for all the athletes is that the team that wins the cup will get to live in it.

Of course, given the economic condition of the USA and where things are headed, it might be wise of all of us to start honing our soccer skills — because “there but for the grace of Hope.”

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough… Leave the Country

Well, it’s recess time for Congress. So they’re all headed home to discuss with their constituents their views on Obamacare, Cash for Clunkers and the economy, right?

Not so much. Plenty members of Congress, Republican and Democrat alike, are taking advantage of the recess to leave the country on “fact finding missions.” For some, these are more “reality avoidance trips.”

Hey, if I was a member of Congress flirting with supporting Obamacare and saw the reaction Arlen Specter (joined by HHS Sec. Kathleen Sebelius) got when he tried to explain why it was important to move “fast” on the bill, I might head for Fiji too:

These “townhall meetings” are starting to look more like Mussolini’s last days.

(h/t for the vid to Michelle Malkin)

More Cash for Clunkers Insanity

So what happens after you turn in your old “clunker” in the name of saving the environment? The engine is disabled and the car is junked. Somehow landfills loaded with trashed formerly operational vehicles is supposed to save the planet. But that’s just the tip of the polluted iceberg.

Another problem that’s being reported quite a bit is that a customer will turn in their “clunker,” get a new car, then the government will reject their “clunker” as a non-clunker (thanks in no small part to the EPA re-calculating MPG estimates after the program had already begun), and the dealer takes back the new car… after the customer’s old car has already been destroyed. Sure, I suppose the customer could still get their old car back, but it won’t be exactly the way it was when they turned it in…

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The “Car Allowance Rebate System” of course goes by the acronym CARS — but before that, there was another CARS. That acronym stood for Charitable Auto Resources, Inc. — the “Homeless Children’s Network” that accepts old, operational cars for poor people. There are many other similar organizations. Remember back when liberals used to do things “for the children”? I wonder what happened?

But no, let’s trash these cars instead just to create an artificial shortage to drive new and used car prices up. So much for Democrats caring about poor people, eh?

Here’s the engine on a Volvo being disabled so nobody can use it. Insane:

Bachmann Boehner Overdrive

This thing’s gone viral, so you might have seen it already, but somebody had some serious free time and a good amount of editing ambition.

Here are Reps. Michele Bachmann, John Boehner, and many others putting a techno edge on their speeches:

Will a Socialist Obamabot ACORN Nut Soon Be Knocking On Your Door?

Now that public support for Obamacare is stumbling and falling like Kennedys at closing time, the Obama administration is mobilizing an army of socialists to canvass neighborhoods to get people to sign declarations of support for The One’s programs.

You can find out if you’re in danger of a visit (and when) by clicking on the picture below and going to the search page. Just type in your zip code. I think the search area defaults to 15 miles, but you can widen the area.

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These Obama socialists and ACORN gestapo types are just plain creepy, and the effort has nothing to do with being “informative” and everything to do with intimidation.

The good news is that there’s every indication that they’re losing — the bad news is that they’ll ratchet up their tactics in coming days and weeks as a result.

You can also RSVP and say you’ll be joining them, then get a canvass route and go pass out anti-Obamacare literature. Or, be assigned a canvass route and then just go back home — either way, fewer area residents will be exposed to kook freeloading socialists and their puppet-masters’ propaganda. Just a thought.

Michelle Obama’s Garden Contaminated By ‘Icky Goo’ From Clinton Era

Probably the last thing I’d ever want to hear, aside from “there’s only one room left in the hotel so you and Rep. Frank will have to share,” is that I’d been eating vegetables grown in soil that contains Clinton-era contaminants, but that’s exactly what the First Lady has been told.

Yes, it’s true. Michelle Obama’s garden can no longer carry the label “organic,” because the growing area is full of “icky goo” from back when Bill Clinton lived at the White House.

Keep digging, Michelle O. — you’re bound to find a copy of “Leaves of Grass” out there somewhere.