TSA Screener Arrested After Attacking Colleague Who Made Fun of the Size of His Wand

Rest easy, America — the TSA might not be able to spot a name on a no-fly list, but if you’ve got a teeny tallywacker they’re on the job:

A TSA worker in Miami was arrested for assault after police say he attacked a colleague who’d made fun of his small genitalia after he walked through one of the new high-tech security scanners during a recent training session.

Rolando Negrin, 44, was busted for assault after things got ugly at Miami International Airport between Negrin and some of his fellow Transportation Security Administration workers.

Sources say Negrin stepped into the machine during the training session and became embarrassed and angry when a supervisor started cracking jokes about his manhood, made visible by the new machine.

The screener was arrested after the penile altercation because TSA regulations prohibit cock fighting.

Here’s Condi Rice re-enacting the subsequent ridicule that Negrin endured on a nearly daily basis:


If this wasn’t embarrassing enough, NBC Miami felt compelled to completely destroy the man’s dating life by including a giant police mugshot of the screener with the alleged johnson that makes a Tootsie-Roll look like a Louisville Slugger:


Yeah, I feel bad for him too. For many reasons.

Moral of the story for TSA workers: Stay the hell out of the scanners!

Update on an old joke: “She told the TSA screener to give her nine inches and make it hurt, so he handed her three security scanner pictures of his gigglestick and punched her in the mouth.”

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.