A Consensus of Scientists Believe a Tabloid is Reporting That Al Gore Had an Affair; Updated


The Star tabloid is claiming that Al Gore had what environmentalist adulterers call a “marriage offset.” And all this time I thought the couple split because Tipper caught Al listening to a Twisted Sister album.

Drudge had the siren out for this one:


True, the Star is a tabloid, but it was a tabloid that broke the John Edwards story too. I’m not convinced yet though. Al Gore’s so big that he could go to bed alone and he’s still technically having a threesome, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Maybe that new mansion wasn’t for Tipper after all.

Update: The Star claims Gore has been melting the polar ice caps with Laurie David, ex-wife of Larry David, for the past two years. Laurie David produced “An Inconvenient Truth” and is an environmental hypocrite just like Al, so they do seem to have a lot in common. This isn’t the first time Laurie David has been linked to an affair. Saving the world makes you horny!

But, just to be safe, blame Bush for these rumors until everything is sorted out.

Update II: The day after Al Gore criticized the Obama administration and BP for censoring and limiting media coverage in the Gulf, a tabloid alleges a Gore affair? “Rahm works fast” says NRO’s Jim Geraghty.

Update III: Laurie David issues a denial, but in their story The Star says the science is settled on this matter, so we have no choice but to believe The Star.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.