Roger Ailes Comment About Joe Biden Offends Ashtrays

Fox News’ chief Roger Ailes has greatly insulted the intelligence of tobacco residue receptacles:

“I have a soft spot for Joe Biden,” he told Chafets. “I like him. But he’s dumb as an ashtray.”

Sources tell me the Ashtray Anti-Defamation League is drafting a strongly worded letter to Ailes as we speak, and the organization is also offering evidence that Biden is in fact dumber than an ashtray:

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“We have to spend money to keep from going bankrupt.”

ashtray

“Are you f*@#ing kidding me?”

*****

bidenashtray

“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”

ashtray

“You realize you’ve reduced the office of the vice president to dick jokes, right?”

*****

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“It happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J, O, B, S — jobs.”

ashtray

“Um, ‘jobs’ is a four letter word, like ‘dumb’ — but we wouldn’t expect you or your boss to know much about jobs anyway Einstein, so don’t worry.”

*****

We’ll now wait for Ailes to issue his apology to ashtrays everywhere for his insensitive remark.

Eric Holder: Yes, the President Has a Right to Drone-Whack American Citizens on US Soil Without a Trial, but Don’t Worry Because He Won’t — Well, Probably Not. OK, Maybe

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Ironically this is the same Attorney General who wants non-US citizen terror suspects mirandized, offered full constitutional protections and tried in civilian courts inside the United States:

Attorney General Eric Holder Tuesday stopped short of entirely ruling out a drone strike against an American citizen on U.S. soil — without trial.

Holder’s comment came in a letter to Sen. Rand Paul. Paul had sent a letter to President Obama’s CIA director nominee John Brennan asking for the administration’s views on the president’s power to authorize lethal force.

In the letter, Holder said “It is possible I suppose to imagine an extraordinary circumstance in which it would be necessary and appropriate under the Constitution and applicable laws of the United States for the President to authorize the military to use lethal force within the territory of the United States.”

No wonder Hollywood stays on their good side.

Update: Sen. Ted Cruz, after a few minutes of pulling teeth, got Eric Holder to admit that the Constitution does not permit the government to take out a U.S. citizen on U.S. soil who does not pose an imminent threat.

Pets Move! FLOTUS Speaks on the Importance of Dog Exercise and Nutrition

Last week we talked about Pet Food Stamps, a private charity aimed at helping those who struggle to afford pet food in this glorious age of Hope & Change. I remarked that it probably wouldn’t be long before the government jumped on board.

I think we’re moving in that direction:

During her Google Hangout today, First Lady Michelle Obama reminded the audience that dogs need a proper diet and exercise, just like children do.

The First Lady admitted that President Obama liked to tease their own dog, “Bo” for being lazy, but that they encouraged her girls to take him on walks.

“Dogs are no different,” Michelle Obama explained to a woman on the chat. “You want to make sure they are eating a balanced diet, and if they are not an active dog, make sure that their food is reflective of an inactive dog and then get them out there and throw that ball and get them running.”

I assume this means that we’re just a few weeks away from dogs complaining about their government-provided lunches just like the students.

Michigan Governor Declares Petri Dish of Liberal/Leftist Policies a Financial Disaster Area

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If we want to know what will happen to an area governed completely by the same lib/left policies that Obama and too many others would love to roll out nationally, all we have to do is look at Detroit. Governor Snyder has now declared the city a financial disaster area, but it’s also a disaster in other areas: Educationally; socially; economically; legally; the Lions.

Next stop, bankruptcy:

Gov. Rick Snyder’s decision to appoint an emergency financial manager to fix Detroit’s escalating fiscal crisis kicks off a chain of events — a potential challenge from the city’s elected leaders, more vocal opposition from infuriated community groups and unavoidable battles ahead over the decisions the new boss will make.

But Snyder said Friday after his announcement, broadcast on TV and online, that while he recognized the gravity of Detroit’s troubles, quick, early successes in fixing broken streetlights and improving the city’s police service will help build confidence among residents that a state takeover will mark a painful but beneficial turning point for the Motor City.

“I look at today as a sad day, a day I wish had never happened in the history of Detroit, but also a day of optimism and promise,” Snyder told a select audience gathered at a Midtown TV studio.

Citing runaway deficits and staggering long-term debts Detroit could never repay on its own, Snyder declared the city to be in a financial emergency, paving the way for the appointment of an emergency manager later this month.

As with most liberal grand plans, somebody else gets stuck paying for their failed schemes. But, to paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, at some point there will be a rude awakening, because eventually they’ll run out of other people’s money.

The number of people who have fled the city really struck me late last summer. We went to a Tigers game, and some surrounding areas where previously you might have been afraid to make a wrong turn and get lost were nearly completely abandoned — neighborhoods turned crack dens turned ghost towns. Detroit is like “The Day After” except instead of a nuke the weapon is progressive politics run amok.

Reminder: Taking Shotgun Tips from Joe Biden Will Get You in Trouble

Recently our wise and brilliant vice president instructed people to get a shotgun and, if you believe intruders are outside or inside your home, to just blindly fire a blast through the door.

You might find this hard to believe, but a Virginia man has been charged for doing precisely what Biden is advising:

Snowden told police the suspects pointed weapons at him and told him to shut the bedroom door. Thinking the suspects were going to rob him, he moved into the hallway and retrieved a shotgun. Moyers said Snowden fired through his bedroom door, then opened the door and fired several more rounds toward the window. Any suspects fled the area and could not be located by officers.

No one was injured and there were no reports of damage to other property.

Snowden was charged with reckless handling of a firearm in the incident and released on a summons.

Keep spreading that winning advice, Joe!

And keep in mind, this is the guy who’s in charge of figuring out how to lower the gun crime rate.

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